


Turn the Page

by zebraljb



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Library, Awkwardness, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-06-25 08:15:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19741732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Hamish McNair, Merlin to most of the world, works at a public library with his best friend. He's tired of Harry judging his life, and perhaps he tells a tiny white lie to shut Harry up.  He doesn't expect a total stranger to pick up the end of the lie and weave it into something real.This story is a gift to my dear friend wyvernwolf.  She did not win my Fandom Trumps Hate bid, but I promised her sometime soon I would write something just for her.  That time has come. ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



ONE

Merlin stows his bag in the tiny locker in the employee break room before grabbing his insulated mug and heading for the kitchenette. He prepares his tea and is adding the proper amount of milk when Harry breezes into the room. “Good morning, Hamish!”

“Morning, Harry.” Merlin glances at the clock on the wall. “Two minutes late. A record for ye, perhaps.”

“It’s a public library, Hamish. It’s not like people are beating down the doors as soon as we open.”

“Ye dinnae know that. Ye come in the back door. Perhaps there is a young man or woman patiently waiting out front, needing that particular book on Tolstoy, or the next volume in the Narnia series.”

“Or waiting to sit down at one of the computers and surf the internet,” Harry says, rolling his eyes. “For someone who is such a whiz at computers, Hamish, you are definitely living in the dark ages.”

Merlin waits for Harry to prepare his own mug of tea before heading out front. “Pardon me for believing that people still actually come to the library for books.”

“I never saw you as the delusional type,” Harry comments as Merlin gets the key for the front door.

Merlin spots a figure outside the door and smiles at Harry triumphantly. “See? I told you.”

“Probably hung over and look for a place to sleep it off,” Harry says.

“Well, aren’t YOU in a fine mood today,” Merlin replies. He unlocks the door. “Good morning.”

The young man quickly jumps to his feet from his seat on the pavement. “Morning. Uh, thanks.” He’s not much more than a boy, really, and Merlin recognizes him. He’s a frequent patron of the library, quiet and polite. He also has strong thighs, a gorgeous arse, and a very handsome face. Not that Merlin was looking or anything. He notices things. It’s his job. The boy’s name is Gary…Merlin remembers from when he checks out books. Not because Merlin has paid close attention, but because the boy is a frequent patron. Yes. That’s it.

Harry continues his pleasant attitude as soon as Merlin reaches the desk. “Do you know what your problem is, Hamish?”

“No, Harry, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” Merlin frowns as the corner of the desk catches on his jumper. “Oh, bloody hell.” He nabs the loose thread and works it back through. “Remind me why I told you it was a good idea for you to come and work here after you closed the tailor shop.”

Harry ignores him. “You need to get your head out of these books and into the real world.”

“I DO get into the real world,” Merlin retorts. “I just finished watching ‘Good Omens’ and am eager for season three of ‘Stranger Things’ to begin.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. You need to socialize more.”

“World of Warcraft two nights a week.”

Harry actually growls. “When is the last time you went out and interacted with live human beings? When is the last time you got laid, or at least had a date?”

“Jesus, Harry, why don’t ye go put a sign out front?” Merlin hisses. “Keep your voice down! This is a library.”

“We have ONE person in here right now, and I’m guessing he’s napping back in the romance novels,” Harry tells him. “Answer my question.”

“The last time I interacted with live human beings? Yesterday at the market. The last time I got laid? None of your business.” 

Merlin sighs as Harry runs a hand over his face in exasperation. Harry is correct, although Merlin will never admit it. It seems like forever since he’s been out socially, but it’s just so much work. Harry is one of his few friends from university that he’s kept in touch with. Merlin’s always been a bit reserved, hyper aware of his gangly frame and unconventional looks. Most men don’t give him the time of day, and he’s not of much interest to women, either (thankfully). He’d never have the courage to even go to a gay bar and offer to buy an attractive man a pint, and if he did go, he knows no one would offer to buy HIM one. So he busies himself with his work at the library, his video games, his books. He’s content.

Harry, apparently, is NOT content. “You didn’t answer the last part of my question.”

Merlin glares at his best friend. His only real friend. The one person he can be honest with, the person who knows him the longest and the best. “It just so happens I HAVE gone on a date recently.” Why the lie comes out to Harry of all people, Merlin has no clue. So of course he makes it worse. “Three, if ye must know.”

“Three dates. You?” Harry stares at him in shock. “With the same person?” Merlin nods and starts organizing rubber bands. “Hamish! Why haven’t you told me?”

“Because I knew ye would make a big deal about it.”

“Of course I would, because it’s wonderful news! I’m so…” Harry stops mid-rave and studies him carefully. “You’re lying.”

“What?”

“You’re lying. Your right eye always twitches when you lie.”

“It’s dusty in here, because you haven’t started doing your work for the day. Of course my eye is twitching.” Merlin turns away from him.

“I don’t believe you…really, Hamish? You’d make up a story like this just to get me to leave you alone?”

 _Yes_ , Merlin says to himself. _Anything to stop you from making me feel like more of a loser than I already do._ Merlin tries to think of a witty retort, but his face is flushed, he’s starting to sweat, and he’s remembering why he never lies.

“Hamish.”

They both turn to the sound of Merlin’s name, Harry looking as surprised as Merlin feels. His nametag says “Merlin,” although Hamish, of course, is his given name. The young man, Gary, is standing at the counter. “Yes, lad?” Merlin manages. He can’t believe he’s airing his dirty laundry (or lack thereof) in a public place.

“I was wondering…” Gary fidgets and then leans on the counter, smiling up at Merlin. Merlin is entranced by the beautiful blue-green eyes. “I was wondering…I know you’ve paid for our first three dates…and it was aces, swear down. I especially liked that movie we went to last week at the independent cinema. But I have enough saved now, thought maybe we could go someplace special for date number four…you said you like Chinese, right? The best place ever is near the shop where I work, so maybe we could go there this weekend?”


	2. Chapter 2

TWO

Merlin stares at Gary in shock. “Well, that is very kind of ye, lad, but I would nae expect ye to pay.” He’s surprised that he can form words, not to mention logical sentences.

“Well, too bad, bruv, cuz it’s what’s gonna happen.” Gary glances over at Harry. “Oh. Don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. Gary Unwin, but everyone calls me Eggsy.” He leans over and shakes Harry’s hand.

“A pleasure. Harry Hart.” Harry looks at Merlin. “You do love Chinese food.”

“I do,” Merlin agrees, still trying to figure out what universe he’s fallen into. Definitely not his normal universe. Beautiful young men did not pretend to date him in real life. “I…I need to get the cart…it’s in the back. Why don’t ye walk with me, Eggsy, and we can discuss it?”

“Aces.” Eggsy smiles at Harry. “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hart.”

“Harry will do just fine, my boy,” Harry says. “Run along, Hamish…I obviously have everything under control here.” Harry’s smile is warm and polite but Merlin just KNOWS he’s in for the Spanish Inquisition when he returns to the desk.

“All right. This way, Eggsy.” Merlin heads toward the back of the library without looking back. 

As soon as they reach the corner where the carts are kept Eggsy starts babbling. “I’m real sorry, Merlin, REAL sorry. Know it’s rude to eavesdrop and even ruder to interrupt. But I heard that posh bastard tearing into you and I just…it weren’t right. So I figured I would just step in and maybe bring him down a peg, tug that silver spoon out of his arse…”

“That ‘posh bastard’ is my oldest friend,” Merlin says quietly.

Eggsy’s face turns a deep shade of crimson. “Oh, fuck, I’m sorry…sorry, I just…he…the look on your face…just jumped in without thinking.” He sighs. “I do that a lot.”

“It was…it was quite kind of you,” Merlin says finally. “Unnecessary, but kind. You don’t even know me.”

“I know some stuff,” Eggsy says with a shrug. “You like tea…you drink it all day. Unless it’s whiskey or vodka in that travel mug.”

“It’s tea, but if it was something stronger it would be scotch.” Merlin is unsure why he’s offered that bit of information.

“Know your given name is Hamish, cuz…cuz I may have eavesdropped before.” Again the blush. “Know you like it when the little kids come in for story time, know you hate it when teenagers make a mess of your shelves. Know you sometimes stay here after your shift ends.” Merlin gapes at him. “Yeah, I…I spend a lot of time here,” Eggsy almost whispers. “Quieter than home sometimes.”

They look at each other for a moment. Merlin takes a moment to take a good look at Eggsy. He’s wearing tight jeans, a baggy hoodie, and winged trainers, of all things. Merlin didn’t know they MADE winged trainers. He looks quite young, embarrassed, and absolutely adorable. “Again, I can only say thank ye, although now I dinnae know what I’m to say to Harry…how to explain.”

“Why ya gotta explain?” Eggsy says. “You don’t owe him anything. Does he tell you about HIS love life?”

“On occasion,” Merlin says with a wince. “But not usually.”

“There ya go.” Eggsy scuffs his shoe along the carpet a bit. “We…uh…we COULD go for Chinese this weekend. Just as friends,” he says quickly. “I have off on Saturday.”

“About that…ye mentioned a shop?”

“Yeah…work at a shoe store. Do odds and ends for my mate Jamal’s dad, but my main job is at the shop. We’re closed Sundays, but I’m off Saturday.” Eggsy nervous shifts back and forth. “Unless this is way too weird for ya, or if ya got plans, or…”

“I don’t have plans. I…I rarely do,” Merlin says with a shrug of his own. “And honestly, the only weird thing about this, in my opinion, is that a total stranger would go out of their way like this to keep me from being uncomfortable with my friend.”

“We ain’t strangers, really. Seen each other dozens of times,” Eggsy points out. “You’ve wished me a good day more times than I can count.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Merlin says with a slow smile, and Eggsy looks startled. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah, m’fine, ya just…you’ve got…never mind.” Eggsy clears his throat. “If…if ya want, we could exchange numbers? Maybe text a bit before Saturday?”

“That sounds fine,” Merlin says. He realizes it’s probably not the safest thing to do, but really…if Eggsy’s a serial killer, no one but Harry would miss Merlin anyway. “If I might…if I could ask ye to tell me a few things about yourself? I’m sure Harry will interrogate me later.”

Eggsy quietly laughs, a deep musical sound that actually makes Merlin sigh. “Like I said, I go by Eggsy, and that’s cuz when I was little I only wanted to eat scrambled eggs for like a month. I live with my mum, my four-year-old sister, Daisy, and my…my stepdad.” Eggsy’s handsome face grows dark, and Merlin wonders if this is why Eggsy spends so much time in the library. “I work a lot, like I said. I love animals…like music a lot.”

“How…he’ll ask how we met.”

“Here, obviously,” Eggsy quickly replies and Merlin feels like an idiot. “Maybe one day you was back here filing, and we ran into each other and while you was apologizing, I asked you out because I thought it was cute.” Eggsy smiles. “Sounds sorta rom-com, but think he’ll buy it?”

“Harry ADORES rom-coms…it’s absolutely perfect,” Merlin says with a snort. 

Eggsy checks his watch. “I gotta go…start work at ten. You can text me with any questions…if ya gotta make stuff up, just let me know so I’m aware if I’m talking to him and it comes up.”

“All right. And…and even though we’re just doing this until Saturday, feel free to ask me questions as well,” Merlin says. “Although I’m sure your life is much more exciting than mine.”

“Doubt it, bruv,” Eggsy says soberly. 

Merlin gives him his number and Eggsy enters it into his mobile. “Thank ye again, Eggsy. You’re a kind young man.”

“Ain’t, really…”

“Ain’t young?” Merlin teases.

“Ain’t kind,” Eggsy says. “Ain’t that young, either. I’m twenty-four.”

“Christ.” Merlin hadn’t expected him to be THAT young. “I feel like I could be arrested for even talking to ye.”

“How old are you?”

“Fifty-three.”

“You’re right fit for fifty-three,” Eggsy says almost shyly, and it’s Merlin’s turn to blush. “Okay, then, I really gotta run.”

“All right. I…I look forward to hearing from ye, Eggsy.”

“Once we get everything settled in the morning, I usually have some free time. I’ll text ya. Bye, Hamish.” Eggsy starts to walk away but then stop. “Or do ya prefer Merlin?”

“Whatever ye like, lad.” 

“Okay. Bye, Merlin.” Eggsy gives him a cheeky grin over his shoulder and hurries toward the front of the library. Merlin hears him say goodbye to Harry and then he’s gone.

Merlin takes a long moment to gather himself together, clutching at the cart for dear life. A gorgeous young man with a shining grin and beautiful body is willing to pretend to date him, Merlin, for the rest of the week. Things like this simply don’t happen outside rom-coms and chick lit.

He finally makes his way back through the library, mentally preparing himself for the onslaught of questions. Harry doesn’t disappoint.

“How in the WORLD did this happen without my knowledge?” Harry snaps. Merlin is saved from replying by the arrival of a few patrons. Merlin gives them a beaming smile and starts pulling books from the return bin. He stays at the computer, scanning them in so Harry is forced to focus on the patrons and not on him. That works for about twenty minutes.

Harry comes over to stand next to him. “Do remember there are members of the public within hearing distance, Harry. I dinnae wish my romantic life to be announced like ye are the town crier.”

“I would never,” Harry says loudly, and then clears his throat. “Explain yourself.”

“I am nae required to do such a thing,” Merlin says primly.

“Hamish McNair…”

“Fine.” Merlin scans the last book. “We met here, obviously. I literally ran into him one day and apologized like a blathering fool. He seemed to think it attractive, because he asked me out for coffee. And then we went to dinner, and then, like he said, a movie. Happy?”

“No.” Harry is actually pouting. “That is bloody adorable! Just like in a movie…and you’ve kept it from me?”

“Perhaps I am tired of your constant interference into my private life.”

Harry looks contrite. “You do realize it’s only because I care about you, correct? You find it so easy to hide yourself away from the world…I worry about you. I want you happy.”

“I realize that, Harry. I’m quite lucky to have a good friend like ye,” Merlin says sincerely. “But this…it was new. And different. So I dinnae wish to…”

“You didn’t wish to jinx it,” Harry finishes for him. “Of course. I understand completely.” 

“Good.” Merlin turns to put the books in the cart.

“Oh no you don’t.” Harry grabs his wrist. “I need more information about him.”

Merlin sighs. “He works in a shoe shop full time, and does odds and ends for the father of a friend on occasion. He lives with his mother, stepfather, and little sister. He loves animals. He…he’s twenty-four.”

“Bloody hell.” Harry blinks at him. “You own jumpers older than that.”

“I know. But I…I forget that while I’m talking to him,” Merlin says truthfully. “And he does nae seem to mind the age gap.”

“Definitely not, if the way his eyes were eating you alive is any indication,” Harry says slyly. “Youth…vigor…stamina.”

“Harry.” Merlin blushes. “We’ve nae even kissed yet. Behave yourself.”

“You’ve always said you felt uncomfortable around men our age,” Harry muses.

“True,” Merlin says. He always feels as if he’s being judged and come up lacking. Most men their age are retired from careers in fields such as law or banking or medicine. They’re not devoting their lives to children’s hour and taping the covers of Mills & Boon paperback novels.

“Just…be careful.” Harry is suddenly serious. “You hide it away quite well behind your resting bitch face and jumpers, but your heart is a large place, Hamish. Don’t let him take advantage of that.”

“I won’t,” Merlin vows, jumping as his mobile buzzes in his pocket. He can’t keep the smile from his face. “It’s him.”

“He hasn’t texted you at work before,” Harry points out. “I would have noticed.”

“We’re not together ALL day, Harry,” Merlin retorts. “I’m going to shelve these.” He tumbles the books into the cart and hurries away before Harry can do anything else.

_Hey Merl its me._  
Merlin decides he can ignore the errors. It is texting, after all. _Hello Eggsy._  
_Did u talk 2 Harry?_  
_Yes. As I expected, he was quite nosy. But I feel I deflected him well._  
_Anything I need 2 knw?_  
_No. I used what you gave me._  
_Aces. Just wanted 2 b sure u were ok._  
_I am, thank you._  
_Good. So tell me why u r called Merlin._  
_Perhaps I am magic_ , Merlin types, and hits send before he can delete it.  
_I believe it. U gonna change me into a sparrow or sth?_  
Merlin thinks for a bit, then realizes “sth” means something. He grins, also recognizing the film reference. _You’ve seen The Sword in the Stone?_  
_Mum likes Disney movies._  
_The story of my nickname is much more involved than yours. Save it for Saturday?_  
_I wont 4get. Customers, g2g. TTYL._

__Merlin looks up “g2g” and “ttyl” and then bookmarks the textspeak website. He sighs, shakes his head, and starts filing._ _

__He won’t tell Harry that the reason it takes twice as long is because he keeps staring into space and thinking about Eggsy._ _


	3. Chapter 3

THREE

Merlin doesn’t expect to hear from Eggsy again; he’s fairly certain the boy was just being nice temporarily. He didn’t mean to actually go out for dinner with someone like Merlin. But hear from him he does. They text on and off throughout the next few days, and Eggsy shows up at the library again on Wednesday, just as Merlin’s arriving at eleven for his shift. He usually opens, but on Wednesdays he works eleven to six. Wednesday is his favorite day, because that is when the children come for their story hour.

“Hi, Merlin,” Eggsy says almost shyly. Merlin’s painted such a picture of Eggsy in his mind by now that he’s sure the reality will disappoint. It doesn’t. The same strong jaw, the same beautiful eyes, the same cheeky grin…and the same glorious thighs and arse. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, lad, how are you?” Merlin’s surprised when Eggsy walks him back toward the employee lounge. “If…if you’d like to wait, I just need to stow these…prepare my tea.”

“No. I mean, yeah, I’ll wait, but ya don’t gotta prepare your tea.” He pulls a bag from behind his back. “I brought you something.”

“Oh.” Merlin feels his cheeks grow warm. “That was quite thoughtful of ye.”

Eggsy shrugs. “No big deal. There’s a pastry…know you can’t have those up front, but maybe on your break? And tea.” He carefully removes a takeaway cup from the sack before handing it to Merlin. “I’ll hold the tea, if ya wanna put this in your locker?”

“Aye. Be right back.” As Merlin enters the lounge Harry comes out from the employee loo. “Hello, Harry.”

“Good morning, Hamish. You brought us treats?” Harry asks eagerly, looking at the bag.

“I’m afraid not, although perhaps I will share if ye are a good boy. Eggsy…Eggsy brought me tea and a pastry.”

Harry’s eyebrows go up into his hair. “Oh he did? How thoughtful.”

“Quite.” Merlin quickly shoves his things into his locker and hurries back out, ignoring the chuckles and sly looks coming from his best friend. “Do ye work today, lad?”

“Not til five…got the closing shift tonight.”

“But ye are here,” Merlin says stupidly. “On your morning off.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says slowly. “It’s a public place, right?”

“Yes, but…why?”

Eggsy shakes his head. “Because my pretend boyfriend is here and I wanted to bring him a treat. Silly old bear.”

Merlin turns a furious shade of red. Even though it’s prefaced by the word ‘pretend,’ the term ‘boyfriend’ sends him reeling. He’s never been anyone’s boyfriend before. "Oh, well…thank ye. Ye didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”

“I don’t mind,” Eggsy says, smiling up at him.

“Merlin, the children will be here in twenty minutes,” Harry reminds him as he breezes past. “Good morning, Eggsy.”

“Morning, Mr. Hart.”

“That’s Harry, Eggsy,” Harry reminds him over his shoulder.

“He says when ye call him Mr. Hart it makes him feel old,” Merlin explains. “So please do continue to do it.”

Eggsy grins. “Yeah, can tell you two’s best mates…that’s the kind of thing I’d say about my friend Jamal.”

“How’s he feeling, by the way?” Merlin asks, heading for the children’s corner. Eggsy had mentioned during their texting the day before that his best friend was a bit under the weather. 

Eggsy starts unpacking the cushions and throwing them to the floor without being asked. Apparently he’s been here for Children’s Hour before. “He’s better, thanks for asking. He managed to keep some applesauce down last night. Christ…never seen so much puke before, and I helped give Daisy her bottle and she was the Queen of Spit Up. He was like something from the Exorcist.”

“I’m glad to hear he’s on the mend. It was kind of ye to look after him,” Merlin says. He’s finding things out about Eggsy little by little, but one thing that is immediate clear is Eggsy’s strong sense of loyalty to those he cares about. His mother, Daisy, Jamal…they come first to Eggsy.

“He owes me. There’s been a few times we went out and I probably wasn’t the easiest person ta round up and get home,” Eggsy says with a grin. His grin brightens as Merlin gets out the costume box. “Yer dressin’ up today? Aces!”

Merlin blushes. “Ye…ye were planning on staying for Children’s Hour?”

“I was gonna.” Now Eggsy looks uncomfortable. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course…as ye said, it’s a public place.” Merlin winks at him. “I cannot imagine why ye would wish to, though.”

“Because ya have so much fun,” Eggsy says earnestly. “You do the voices and become the characters and I can tell you are having a really good time. Your face…you just light up. And I love watching the kids watch you.”

By now Merlin is that embarrassing shade of red again. “Well, I…I like making them happy.”

“I wish I would had a library like this when I was growing up,” Eggsy says wistfully. “Da died when I was five…ya know that…I can barely remember him reading to me, doing the voices. It’s a good memory…and you’re giving these kids a memory like that, too.” Eggsy jams his hands in his pockets. “Maybe…maybe sometime I could bring Daisy to Children’s Hour.”

“I would love to have her,” Merlin replies. A thought occurs to him, and he quickly weighs the pros and cons before jumping in. “Would ye like to help me today?”

“Me?” Eggsy gasps, acting as if Merlin’s asked him to perform onstage. “What can I do?”

“Do ye know this?” Merlin pulls a book from the top of the shelf.

“Yeah, I remember this one…you had it on the Read One a Day list and I read it to Daisy.” Eggsy flips through ‘My Father’s Dragon.’

“Ye read the books on my list?” Now it’s Merlin’s turn to gasp.

“Course I do. You take the time to recommend books for kids, I’m gonna look into it,” Eggsy tells him. “She’s loved every one you’ve put up there.”

“I’m…I’m glad to hear it,” Merlin says lamely. “Anyway…if ye wanted, ye could be my Elmer Elevator while I tell the story.”

“That sounds great,” Eggsy says, beaming at him. Merlin’s heart jumps into his throat and he turns away to arrange the props.

Harry sits down with Merlin as he takes his break at two o’clock. Eggsy had stayed for Children’s Hour and helped to clean up before heading home. “So.”

“So…” Merlin mimics, cutting the apple pastry down the middle and offering half to Harry.

“Thank you, Hamish.” He takes a few bites before continuing. “That was very nice of your boy, coming in here with a treat…helping you with Children’s Hour.”

“He’s nae my boy, and yes it was. Quite a surprise.”

“Three dates…unplanned visits at work…I think he’s on his way to becoming your boy if he isn’t already.”

“I dinnae know about that.” Merlin blushes and looks down at his pastry.

“Why are you denying this, Hamish? He obviously likes you very much.”

“I’m nae sure why,” Merlin mumbles. “He’s young…handsome…witty…smart.”

“You’re most of those things, although I would not exactly call you YOUNG,” Harry says with a sly grin. Merlin kicks him under the table. “If he’s all of that, Hamish, you should be honored that he’s giving you his attention. He could have anyone else.”

“Aye, he could,” Merlin says, and it’s on the tip of his tongue to tell Harry the truth, to burst his little romantic bubble. But he won’t do that without talking to Eggsy first, so he simply takes a bite of his pastry and doesn’t say anything at all.

By Friday Merlin comes to the conclusion that this is the longest week in recorded history. He’s fairly certain that there’s an extra day thrown into it somewhere, but he doesn’t voice his suspicions. Instead he does his best to stay busy and not look at the clock. Which is impossible, because apparently someone has thought it wise to hang clocks all over the library walls. They hang there, glaring at him and informing him that Saturday isn’t coming any quicker than the last time he looked at it…five minutes prior.

Eggsy’s usually the one that messages him first, but he’s bravely taken the initiative this morning and sent the first message. It goes unanswered, which actually surprises him; Eggsy’s normally fairly quick about responding. He remembers that Eggsy probably has a life, and isn’t standing around looking at clocks and waiting for Merlin to message him.

Merlin’s deep in the romance section shelving paperbacks when Harry comes around a corner. “Jesus, Harry, ye scared me!”

“My apologies. I was wondering if you could help someone in the Biography aisle.”

“Are yer legs broken?” Merlin jokes, but Harry doesn’t smile. 

“They require your assistance, I do believe.” And Harry walks away.

Merlin quickly finishes the stack he’s working on and heads over to the Biography aisle. There’s a figure standing there in winged trainers, jeans, and a hoodie, and the hood is up over the head. “Eggsy,” Merlin says with a grin. “What a…”

He stops talking as Eggsy turns around and slowly lowers the hood. His right cheekbone is red and bruised, and his left eye is black and blue. “Hey, Merlin,” Eggsy says softly.

“Oh, lad.” Merlin reaches up to tenderly touch the reddened cheek before he realizes he’s doing it. Eggsy closes his eyes briefly and leans into the caress. “What…what happened?”

“My stepdad…he wasn’t real happy when I told him I can’t work with him tomorrow night, cuz I was having a date…I mean, having dinner with a friend,” Eggsy quickly corrects. “Sometimes he…he likes me to, uh, help him with his work. I don’t like doing it but sometimes I can’t get out of it. We had words about it last night.”

“This looks like fairly strong words,” Merlin comments. “Eggsy, has this…has it ever…”

“Ain’t the first time,” Eggsy says with a shrug, and Merlin’s heart breaks. “He doesn’t touch Daisy, that’s what matters.”

“Oh, Eggsy,” Merlin say. He wants to hug him, wants to kiss his forehead, comfort him. Instead he stands there with his hands at his sides, feeling like an idiot.

“Anyway…reason I came…wanted to show you and say I understood if ya didn’t want to go tomorrow.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to go? Do YE not want to go?”

“I do! I just…I didn’t know if you would be, like, embarrassed to be seen with me, looking liking this.” Eggsy bows his head, obviously ashamed. “Already look like shit next to someone like you, and now…”

“Ye really think so little of yourself?” Merlin puts a hand on Eggsy’s shoulder and he slowly looks up. “Lad, I am nothing to write home about. I’m old, I’m skinny, I’m bald, my wardrobe consists mainly of jeans and jumpers. But beyond all that, I would never think less of ye, or be embarrassed by ye, because of something like this. This…something should be done.” The more Merlin looks at Eggsy, the angrier he gets.

“Merlin…Hamish…it’s fine,” Eggsy promises. He gently squeezes Merlin’s arm. “Appreciate ya caring so much, but it’s fine. I’ve had worse.”

“What?” Merlin gasps and Eggsy winces.

“Forget I said that. We’re still on for tomorrow, then?”

“Ye dinnae know how much I’m looking forward to it,” Merlin confides. Eggsy’s bruised face breaks out in a grin.

“Me, too. So I’ll meet ya at my shop at six, like we talked about?”

“Aye, lad.”

“Can’t wait,” Eggsy says, which confuses Merlin. Obviously the boy has younger friends, more exciting friends. Eggsy looks as if he wants to say something else and changes his mind. “I’ll let you get back to work. See you tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

“I’ll text you.” Eggsy ambles away with one last smile thrown over his shoulder.

As soon as he’s out of view Merlin leans his head against the shelving unit. He is officially smitten. This cannot end well for him.


	4. Chapter 4

FOUR

Merlin stands in front of his closet and stares at his clothes. If this was truly a date, he’d ask Harry for advice on what to wear. Harry is always put together nicely, even when just lounging around his house. But this is supposed to be their fourth date. No one would be so excited and nervous for a fourth date…so he cannot consult Harry.

He finally decides on a pair of black jeans and a green button-down. Eggsy has assured him the restaurant is not fancy in the slightest, and Merlin has an inkling Eggsy will be in jeans as well. At least he doesn’t have to worry about his hair.

Merlin arrives to the shoe store at 5:45 and is surprised to see Eggsy pacing out front. His face is still a lovely shade of blue and purple, but he looks nice in a tight pair of blue jeans and a grey jumper. “Merlin!” Eggsy’s bruised face lights up and Merlin’s legs actually go weak. No one has ever looked so happy to see him.

“I was afraid I would be early, lad, yet here ye are.”

“Yeah, I was…” Eggsy rubs the back of his neck. “I was ready, so, you know, I just decided to come.”

“It looks like we had the same idea, then.” Merlin cannot allow himself to expect that Eggsy was as eager for their plans as he is.

“I hope you’re hungry…this place is aces.” Eggsy turns and starts to walk down the pavement. “Go there for lunch ALL the time when I have the extra cash.”

“About that, lad…” Merlin stops him with a hand on his arm. “Ye mentioned that in front of Harry, but I dinnae expect ye to pay for me. I am fairly certain I make more than you, and…”

“I invited ya out for dinner, Merlin…I’m paying,” Eggsy says stubbornly, and the wrinkle of consternation between his eyebrows is so adorable Merlin forgets to argue.

When they reach the restaurant Merlin holds the door for Eggsy, who is immediately greeted by the waiter. “Eggsy! Haven’t seen you in a while!”

“I know, Joe…sorry. Joe, this is my friend Merlin. Merlin, this is Joe…his dad’s the owner.”

“Welcome, Merlin,” Joe says. “Please sit over here.” He leads them to a table by the front window. 

“If ya want…I could order for us,” Eggsy says almost shyly. “Anything ya hate, or any allergies?”

“Nae, lad…I have an iron stomach,” Merlin says truthfully.

Eggsy quickly discusses a few options with Joe and they decide on a bit of a tasting menu so Merlin can try multiple dishes. When Joe hurries away Eggsy sits back in his chair and smiles at Merlin. “Glad we could do this.”

“Aye,” Merlin says. “I’m still…I know what kind of person you are,” he says suddenly, and Eggsy looks horrified and then embarrassed. “I mean that in a good way!” Merlin adds quickly. “Ye are a kind young man, intelligent…responsible. But I still cannae believe the way you stepped in that day.”

“Well, it was wrong of me to eavesdrop,” Eggsy points out. “Weren’t my business. But the look on your face…you looked so lost. Embarrassed…annoyed…broke my heart.”

“Ye are a good person, Eggsy Unwin,” Merlin says, and Eggsy turns red. “I’m lucky to have a pretend boyfriend like you.”

“Gotta…gotta say, Merlin, sorta surprised ya ain’t got one already.”

It’s Merlin’s turn to blush. “Well, lad, I’m no great catch. I’m old, I’m skinny, I have a beak of a nose. I like things such as books and video games and computers.”

“What kinda video games?” Eggsy asks eagerly. “And just miss me with that shite about your looks…yer right fit.”

“Well, I belong to a…never mind. It’s nothing ye would care about.” Merlin is very thankful to see Joe approaching with a large tray of food, followed by another man with a similar tray. “Jesus, Eggsy, how much food did ye order?”

“Enough for you to try all the good stuff. This is why he sat us at a table for four…lotsa room.” Eggsy sweeps their drinks to the side and helps Joe arrange plates. “So, yeah, dig in.”

“This looks amazing.” Merlin takes the plate Eggsy gives him and starts filling it.

“It is…and ya didn’t answer my question.”

Merlin sighs. “I play World of Warcraft a few nights a week…I’m in a guild.”

“World of Warcraft? Heard of that…that’s one of those games smart people play,” Eggsy says, obviously impressed. “Ain’t just a shoot whoever crosses your path, is it? Ya gotta think and plan.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it’s for smart people,” Merlin says modestly. “I enjoy it, though…I like to plan things, organize.”

“Obviously…ya work in a library,” Eggsy reminds him. “I like video games, too, although I stick to the steal a car, shoot ‘em up kinda thing.”

“I tried one of the military games, once…ended up running in circles, never seemed to get anywhere.”

“Maybe sometime I could bring my system over, help ya figure it out, and you could show me how ya play yours?” Eggsy suggests.

“I’d like that very much,” Merlin says, and he realizes it’s the truth. He’s never had someone in real life that he could share this with. “I usually play Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“I open on Tuesday, so I’m free, unless Mum needs me to help with Daisy.”

“Tell me about your sister,” Merlin says almost shyly. Eggsy’s handsome face lights up and he’s off at a rapid pace. According to him, Daisy is the most brilliant, most charming, and cutest four-year-old ever to walk the Earth. Apparently she has some speech delays…something about his stepfather that darkens Eggsy’s countenance…but otherwise she is just as perfect as a child can be.

“Just want so much for her, ya know?” Eggsy says as he finishes his rice. “I work a lot, but I give most of it ta Mum for Daisy. Make sure she has a warm coat, stuff like that. Dean don’t…he don’t always do what he should for his family,” he finishes grimly.

Merlin’s reaching out before he can stop himself. “Ye are a good lad.” He places his hand on Eggsy’s arm. “And when she grows up, she’ll thank ye.”

Eggsy blushes adorably and dips his head. “Dunno about all that.”

The conversation turns to movies and television, and before Merlin realizes it, Joe is stopping by the table to gently remind Eggsy that the restaurant is closing soon. “I’m so sorry,” Merlin apologizes to him.

“No bother,” Joe says with a grin. “Nice to see Eggsy here with a friend for once.”

Eggsy blushes and shoves some money at him. “Here…take this and shut your mouth.”

Joe laughs and walks away. Merlin stands and waits for Eggsy to stand as well. Once they’re outside, he says, “Ye come here alone?”

“Usually. Do a lot alone,” Eggsy confides.

“Why?” Merlin blurts out. “I mean, you’re…you’re young, and you’re fun to be with. I can’t imagine…”

“Got friends,” Eggsy interrupts. “But my schedule is so crazy with work and Daisy that I don’t always got time when THEY got time. Plus some of them…they’re into shit I don’t want any part of, if ya get me.”

“I do,” Merlin tells him. They slowly start walking back toward the shoe store.

“How about you? Bunch of blokes whining because Hamish couldn’t come out to play tonight?” Eggsy teases.

“No. Harry’s my only real friend,” Merlin admits, and realizes how horrible it makes him sound. “Men my age…they dinnae enjoy what I enjoy. My pursuits are mostly solitary. Video games…television shows…dabbling about in my workshop. Plus I’m a librarian, and men in their fifties don’t see that as a true profession.”

“Well then they’re fucking stupid,” Eggsy says angrily. He tugs at Merlin’s arm to get him to stop walking. “A librarian…Jesus, Merlin. You bring the world to people. They walk in the library on their own, yeah, but you help them find their way. I’ve heard you recommend books to people in almost every genre. And the way you are with the kids? You’d be the best dad ever. Even when they annoy you, you try your best to help everyone that comes to you. Anyone can push money around, or go yell in a courtroom. But you…you help people escape. Or you help them learn the things they need. I think…I think you’re pretty spectacular.”

By the time Eggsy stops talking they’re both blushing. “Well,” Merlin says finally. “It sounds like maybe I have TWO real friends now.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says. “Ya do.” As they reach the shop he begins to fidget a bit. “Hey, uh, Merlin, I know we’re just getting to know each other and all, but…I was gonna take Daisy to Hyde Park tomorrow. Would…would you like to come along?”

“Me?” Merlin stares at him in shock.

“Ain’t no other Merlin around.” Eggsy makes a bit show of looking around in circles. “Unless…I mean, I know it’s not the most exciting way ta spend a Sunday. But we try to do it like once a month. We just walk around, she plays on the playgrounds…ya know what, never mind.” Eggsy looks very uncomfortable. “Bet ya got better things to do.”

“I absolutely do not,” Merlin says truthfully. “I do laundry on Sundays, and even if I wasn’t doing that, I cannae think of anything else that sounds better than spending time with ye and your sister.”

“Really?” Eggsy asks hopefully. He seems to stand taller, leaning up a bit towards Merlin and licking his lips.

If Merlin was a braver man, he would lean down and meet those precious pink lips with his own. But he’s NOT a brave man. He’s a gutless coward. “Yes, really,” he says, taking a step back. Eggsy seems to realize what he’s doing and steps back as well.

“Okay, well, uh, we usually go around one or so…that way if I want to get her a treat I can and it don’t ruin her dinner.” 

“That sounds fine,” Merlin says, knowing full well he’ll be counting the hours. “Thank ye for inviting me, Eggsy. I am really looking forward to it.”

“Me, too!” Eggsy says with his sunny smile. He suddenly leans in and hugs Merlin. “Til tomorrow, then.”

Merlin welcomes the warmth of Eggsy’s body, inhaling the scent of his shampoo and remembering every bit of how Eggsy fits against him. “Until tomorrow.” 

Merlin paces back and forth on the pavement at the edge of Hyde Park. He knows he’s in the right place; Eggsy had given explicit instructions about the perfect place to meet not far from the Diana Memorial Playground. But Merlin’s arrived almost forty minutes early, which gives him time to worry and create disastrous scenarios in his head. _This is a PRETEND relationship_ , he keeps reminding himself. _Eggsy is taking pity on a poor nerd like you._

“Merlin!” Eggsy suddenly comes into view, a happy smile on his face and a darling little girl attached to his hand. “You made it.”

“Aye,” Merlin says. “Did ye think I wouldn’t?”

“Like I said, figured you’d find something better to do.” Eggsy practically bounces in place as they reach Merlin. “Merlin, this is Daisy. Daisy, this is Mr. Merlin.”

“Hi,” she says shyly, hiding a bit behind Eggsy.

“Hello, lass. A pleasure to meet ye.”

“You talk funny.”

“Daisy!” Eggsy gasps.

“It’s all right, lad.” Merlin squats in front of them. “I’m sure ye think I do. I talk funny because I come from a magical place called Scotland. When I speak English, it sounds funny to you, but at home I sound just like everyone else.”

“You’re magic?” Daisy’s blue eyes are huge.

“Not here in England. But at home…I speak another language and live near the fairies.”

“Fairies,” Daisy whispers.

Merlin stands up and glances at Eggsy, who looks enthralled. “Ya speak another language?”

“Of course, I do, lad. What kind of Scotsman would I be if I didn’t speak Gaelic?”

“Fuck me,” Eggsy mumbles.

“Swear jar,” Daisy says immediately, holding out her hand. Eggsy sighs and digs a coin out of his pocket, which she happily shoves into her own. “Yer really tall. And you don’t got hair.”

“Yes…both of those things happened because of vegetables.” They start heading for the entrance of the park, Daisy hopping along between them.

“Vegetables?”

“Aye…I didn’t like to eat vegetables when I was a wee lad, and because of that I lost my hair very early.” Daisy actually stops walking. “BUT, I started eating them as soon as I realized what had happened, and they made me grow tall.”

“But Eggsy eats vegetables and he ain’t tall,” Daisy points out.

“Aye, lass, but that’s because he eats English vegetables. Scottish vegetables are COMPLETELY different.”

“Will you push me on the swing?”

“Gladly…if your brother says it’s okay.”

“Go on, bruv,” Eggsy says with a grin. “I’ll just sit here on this bench until she remembers me again.”

“Eggsy,” Merlin begins, worried that he’s overstepped.

“It’s fine. Really. Like getting to watch her play.” Eggsy shoos him toward the swings.

What follows is one of the best days Merlin can remember. He runs around with Daisy with Eggsy eventually joining in. Merlin insists on paying for ice cream from a cart nearby, almost growling at Eggsy when he tries to pull out his wallet. “It’s what boyfriends do, right?”

“Are you Eggsy’s boyfriend?” Daisy gasps. “Yay!”

“Oh, I…” Merlin and Eggsy exchange glances. “Well, lass, you see, I…”

“I’m glad. That way we can play together all the time. I want a boyfriend just like you.” She actually climbs onto his lap as they sit on the bench with their ice cream.

“Well, thank you, Daisy.” Merlin actually buries his face against the back of her head for a moment. 

“You all right, mate?” Eggsy puts a hand on his shoulder, a concerned look on his face.

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just…this has been a good day.”

“It has,” Eggsy agrees. “I’m really glad you could come along.”

“It means a lot to me that ye asked me. I know this wee lass is important to ye, and ye have trusted me with her more than once today.”

“You seem more trustworthy than anyone else in my life,” Eggsy says, but doesn’t elaborate.

Merlin slowly walks them to the closest Tube station when it’s time to call it a day, desperately wishing time hadn’t flown so quickly. Daisy’s lost most of her steam and Eggsy is carrying her, the blonde head lolling on his shoulder. “You’ll be all right getting her home? I could call ye a cab…give ye the fare…”

“No way, bruv…I got this. But thanks.” Eggsy sighs. “Almost wish we didn’t have to go, but I gotta get her home.”

“We can do this again sometime.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says. “Thanks for playing with her…you were really great.”

“She’s everything ye said and more,” Merlin tells him.

They look at each other for a long moment. “So…guess I’ll see you around the library?”

“I guess so.” 

Eggsy finally sighs and says, “Well, bye.” He slowly walks toward the Tube station, and Merlin can do nothing but turn and walk the other direction, towards his very empty, very lonely home.


	5. Chapter 5

FIVE

Merlin walks around the library in a bit of a daze on Monday. He can’t seem to get Eggsy out of his mind, and it’s a very dangerous fantasy world to travel through. He imagines what it would be like to wake up next to him, to kiss him goodbye, to show him his favorite haunts. 

He’s so embedded in the corners of his dream world that when he sees Eggsy at the front desk talking to Harry, he thinks he’s imagining him. “Eggsy?”

“Hey, Merlin,” Eggsy says almost shyly. “Had to run to the bank, had a few minutes, thought I’d stop by and say hi.”

“What a nice surprise,” Merlin says, trying not to look too excited.

“Eggsy was just showing me pictures of your outing to Hyde Park yesterday, Hamish,” Harry says. “You didn’t mention you’d met his sister.”

“Oh, well, yes. I suppose I didn’t,” Merlin says, and Eggsy looks hurt. “I’ve been quite busy this morning,” he explains to Eggsy. “ONE of us should actually do some work.”

“She looks like a sweet child,” Harry says. “And that picture of you pushing her on the swings is charming.”

“She took to Merlin like a duck to water,” Eggsy tells him. “My girl is quick to figure out who’s a good person and who isn’t.” He glances over at Merlin. “And she saw the good in Merlin right off.”

“Really, Eggsy,” Merlin mumbles, blushing and looking down at his shoes.

“The real reason I stopped by, Merlin, was to confirm our plans for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Merlin’s mind is a blank.

“Hamish, I know you have next to no experience with dating, but one should really make a point of remembering when the next date is set,” Harry tells him with a smirk.

Merlin winces. Eggsy doesn’t need to know what a clueless loser he is, having almost no dating experience whatsoever. But he needn’t have worried. Eggsy gives Harry an annoyed look and says, “Walk me to the door, Merlin?” 

“Of course,” Merlin says, putting down a stack of books and hurrying after him.

“God, know he’s yer best mate and all, but sometimes…he’s a complete twat.”

Merlin laughs out loud. He can’t help it. “Yes, at times he is. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize ta me, bruv. Ain’t me he’s talking down.” Eggsy shakes his head. “Don’t know how much longer I can stand around and listen when he puts you down like that.”

“I’m used to it. It’s just how he is.”

“Well, I don’t like people talking to my boyf-…my friends like that.” Eggsy shakes his head again. “Anyway, know we didn’t set nothing in stone, but tomorrow’s Tuesday, I’m free, and I thought we could have a game night, like we talked about?”

“Of course,” Merlin says immediately. “I…I could make dinner.”

“You cook?” Eggsy’s eyes light up. “That’s amazing.”

“I’m not a five-star chef, but I can find my way around the kitchen,” Merlin says. “Are ye able to come by around six?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says eagerly.

“I’ll text ye the address,” Merlin says. “Just don’t…don’t be disappointed in my flat. It’s quite dull.”

“You’ll be there…that’s all that matters.” Eggsy gives him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Gotta run. Won’t be able to stop by tomorrow, since I open. See you at six, then?”

“See you at six,” Merlin echoes. 

He slowly makes his way back to the circulation desk, where Harry is waiting expectantly. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me you had another date with him yesterday…with his sister!”

“I cannot believe ye made me sound like such a fucking idiot,” Merlin snaps back. Harry blinks at him. It’s rare Merlin raises his voice in anger at anyone, and although he’s kept it down due to their location, it’s still quite obvious that he’s upset.

“I didn’t…”

“He does nae need to know that I’m a bloody virgin who’s only kissed three men and exchanged a clumsy handjob once.”

“It hasn’t come up?”

“No, it has nae come up, Harry! I’m working on that.”

“Well, I do apologize, Merlin. You know I would never truly mean to hurt you,” Harry says contritely, and Merlin believes him.

“All right, then. Just…please try not to bring it up again?”

“I promise,” Harry vows. “But back to the matter at hand. You met his little sister. Have you met his mother?”

“No. We met at the park.”

“And she was fine with Eggsy taking her daughter to meet a perfect stranger without meeting him first?”

“I’m not a serial killer, Harry. And he trusts me, and that’s all that matters,” Merlin says. 

“You looked like you were having fun.”

“I was.” Merlin smiles at the memory. “It was a good day.”

“You really like him, don’t you?”

Merlin blushes and looks down at the counter. “Of course I do. I’m dating him, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but…” Harry sighs and Merlin looks back up again. His friend’s eyes are serious. “Be careful, Merlin. I don’t want to sound like a pompous arse, but this is your first relationship and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Thank ye, Harry, but I’m fine,” Merlin promises. “We’re taking it slow. He hasn’t even kissed me yet,” he says truthfully. “I prefer it this way. It’s fine.”

“I only want you happy, you know that, correct?”

“I do, Harry. Thank you.” Merlin squeezes his friend’s shoulder and heads for the back of the library.

He can do this. He can get through the next day or so without fixating on Eggsy.

“Gonna make you feel so good, babe.” Eggsy’s teeth find a tender spot on Merlin’s neck and worry the skin until Merlin gasps. “There…marked ya…now EVERYONE knows you belong ta me.”

“Yes…yes, Eggsy…yours…” Merlin moans, his fingernails scratching down Eggsy’s back.

“Ya ready for me?” Eggsy takes Merlin’s legs and wraps them around his slender waist. 

“Yes…please…”

Eggsy pushes inside and Merlin arches his back. His hands dig into Eggsy’s perfect arse, moving him deeper and deeper. “That’s it…that’s my Merlin…fuck you feel so good.”

“Want…want to be good for ye…”

“You are fucking PERFECT, babe…like you was made for me….made to take my cock.”

“Feels good?” Merlin’s head falls back and he closes his eyes.

“Feels real good…can’t believe this is your first time…never had anyone like you before…”

“Eggsy…EGGSY!” 

Merlin comes into his hand and his eyes flutter open. He doesn’t see Eggsy’s handsome face above him…he sees the ceiling of his bedroom. He hasn’t come into his hand…he’s come inside his pajama bottoms. 

Fucking hell what a dream.

Merlin doesn’t fuss with his outfit on Tuesday night. Instead he fusses with his flat. He rearranges furniture, vacuums, and while doing all that, he also makes dinner. He’s just pulled it from the oven when his doorbell rings. He takes three deep breaths before opening the door. “Welcome, Eggsy.”

“Thanks, bruv.” Eggsy smiles up at him. “Didn’t bring my system this time, figured we’d just focus on your game.”

“All right,” Merlin says. “Come on in, dinner is just about ready.”

“Smells great.” 

Merlin leads the way into the kitchen. “Loo is down the hall to the right,” he tells Eggsy. “Have a seat. What can I get ye to drink? I have beer…juice…”

“Water is fine,” Eggsy tells him, sitting down. “Can I help?”

“Nae, lad, ye are a guest.” Merlin busies himself dishing up their food and tries not to notice how good Eggsy looks in his kitchen.

“I know how to pick fake boyfriends,” Eggsy says with a smile. “Handsome, smart, good cook…”

“Well, ye have nae tasted it yet,” Merlin says. “May I ask why ye dinnae have a real boyfriend?”

Eggsy shrugs. “I’m pretty picky. Gotta be, with my life. I can’t just be flaunting some bloke around the neighborhood. Two men shagging don’t go over well there. I think the longest relationship I ever had was three months, and that was basically groping and fucking in the backseat of his car.”

“How are ye picky?” Merlin absolutely does not think about sex with Eggsy in the back of a car.

“Well, I want him good-looking, of course, but smart, too. And older? Always had a thing for more mature guys…my friends never understood it. The few friends I told about it, anyway.” Eggsy plays with the saltshaker. “Jamal and Ryan. They know, and my Mum knows. That’s about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin says softly.

Eggsy shrugs. “Learn ta deal with it. That’s why I’m so choosy about who I decide to officially call my boyfriend. I got a lot of baggage…takes a special person to deal with it.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that, lad,” Merlin says. “That baggage is a very very small part of what makes ye such a good person.”

Eggsy blushes. “Thanks,” he says as Merlin puts their plates down. He waits for Merlin to sit before saying, “So, how about you? Can’t understand why ya don’t got someone like Harry or whoever on your arm.”

“Harry and I would kill each other before our lips ever touched,” Merlin says immediately and Eggsy laughs. “Plus he’s straight.” Merlin sighs. Might as well get the cat out of the bag. “I…I’ve never had a significant other.” Eggsy’s fork hits his plate with a clatter and Merlin turns red.

“Tell me you are fucking joking.”

“I’m not. The dashing and debonair man you see before you has never had a boyfriend.” Merlin tries to joke but he feels ridiculous. “And before you ask, I have dated…three times…but it was very brief, and the one time it could nae even be considered dating…just snogging and groping on a sofa. When I was growing up, I was painfully shy, and then once I got through university and became a bit more confident, I wasn’t what anyone was looking for.” Merlin shrugs. “It’s all right. I’m happy with my life.”

“Merlin.” Eggsy puts a hand on his arm. “It’s their loss, ya get me?”

“Thank you, lad.” He takes a deep breath. “I appreciate you wanting to help me with Harry, make it look like I’m not such a loser, but if at any time ye wish to…if ye find someone ye actually CARE about…I won’t be hurt.” The lie flows so easily it surprises him. “Ye just have to tell me.”

“Ain’t gonna happen anytime soon,” Eggsy says, picking up his fork again. “I like hanging around with you. Would rather spend time with you than go out on the pull, anyway.”

“I like spending time with ye as well,” Merlin says. “Now eat before it gets cold.”

They talk easily over dinner, and then Merlin takes him on a quick tour of the flat. He’s a bit self-conscious; he hasn’t done much in the way of decorating other than hanging photos of Scotland taken and enlarged by his sister. He really feels like an old man when he opens the door of the spare bedroom, which he uses as a workshop. “Fucking hell,” Eggsy whispers, looking at the half-built computers, the gadgets, the tech manuals. “You did all this?”

“Some of it. A lot of it is a work in progress. I like to tinker now and then.”

Eggsy looks up at him with his mouth open. “You really are fucking brilliant.”

“I’m not all that,” Merlin says modestly.

“Miss me with that shite.” Eggsy looks around the room again. “You’re full of surprises, Hamish McNair.”

Merlin looks down at him, slightly embarrassed by how impressed Eggsy is. “Shall we, uh, go take a look at the game?”

“Yeah, sure.” Eggsy gives him one more admiringly look before stepping out into the hall.

Merlin sighs. He has a feeling it’s going to be another sex dream night.


	6. Chapter 6

SIX

Merlin stands in front of the shoe store and frowns, biting at his bottom lip. He and Eggsy have been “dating” for three weeks now, and this is the first time he’s been to his place of employment. Eggsy’s working until close, and asked if Merlin wanted to get together for his break, which is around half-six.

He finally realizes it’s a public place, and he can go in if he wants. He also reminds himself that they don’t have to pretend here. No one thinks they’re dating. Here they aren’t living a lie, a lie that Merlin is feeling worse and worse about pulling Eggsy into. Even though Eggsy offered, and actually started the entire façade, Merlin feels guilty. No matter what Eggsy says, he shouldn’t have to pretend to be interested in a boring old fool like Merlin.

Merlin finally opens the door and goes into the shop. It’s bright and colorful, with rap music blaring through speakers in the ceiling. He looks around in amazement. He always thought trainers were rather dull and utilitarian, at least the ones he’s always worn. He knows Eggsy prefers trainers that are unique and definitely not dull, and this is where he’s been getting them, apparently.

“May I help you?” A young man around Eggsy’s age hurries over to greet him. “Something for walking?”

“I run,” Merlin says almost immediately, wincing at the defensive tone of his voice. He does run. He tries to work out at least twice a week, although lately all his exercise time has gone to Eggsy. “I’m sorry. I’m…I’m here for Eggsy.”

“You’re Merlin?” The young man’s face lights up. “Wow. You ain’t what I was expecting at ALL.” He goes to the doorway between the storage area and the front of the store. “Oi, Eggsy! Your mate is here!” He comes back to Merlin and holds out his hand. “I’m Brandon.”

“Brandon…Merlin.” Merlin shakes his hand. “He’s…he’s talked about me?”

“He hasn’t shut up about you,” Brandon says shaking his head. “Says you’re right brilliant with tech, although pretty shit at Grand Theft Auto.”

“That’s about right,” Merlin says with a rueful grin, thinking about the night Eggsy had tried to teach him how to play his favorite game. Merlin had tried too hard to follow the rules of real life – namely, don’t shoot the police and don’t run the red lights – and hadn’t done very well at the actual game. “At least the Grand Theft Auto part. I would nae say I’m brilliant.”

“I would,” Eggsy says, coming through the doorway. “Hey, Merlin.” He tosses a set of keys at Brandon. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Take your time…obviously I don’t need you.” Brandon motions to the empty store. “Pleased to meet you, Merlin.”

“You as well,” Merlin says. He follows Eggsy out the door. “Shall we go for Chinese again?”

“That sounds fucking ACES, mate. I’m starving.” Eggsy bounces along beside him.

“Your friend Brandon…he’s the one ye know from the neighborhood?”

“Yeah…known him like ten years. He got me that job.”

“He…he said ye talk about me a lot.” Merlin blushes and looks down at his feet.

“Well, yeah,” Eggsy says with a shrug. “You and me been spending a lot of time together. He asks why I ain’t never coming over to hang with him and the others.”

“Oh, Eggsy…” Merlin feels horrible. “Ye dinnae need to spend time with me when Harry’s not around if ye do not wish it. Ye should be with your real friends and…”

Eggsy stops walking, his face dark. “You ARE my real friend, Merlin. Sometimes I feel you get me better than they ever did. They see what I was…what I am in that hellhole. You see what I could be…what makes me better.”

Merlin feels a tingle run through his body. “I’m glad I can do that for ye, lad.”

“You do more for me than I can ever say, Merlin,” Eggsy says softly. “And me wanting to hang around you ain’t got nothing to do with Harry, ya get me?” 

“All right.” Merlin holds the door of the restaurant so Eggsy can go in first. “I must admit, it was a bit odd coming into your place of work,” he says as they sit down. “I’m so used to putting on a show for Harry that I wasn’t sure how to act. Your friend seems nice enough, though.”

“You just gotta be yourself,” Eggsy tells him. “And yeah, he’s a good bloke.”

“I’m not exactly the type of man that shops in a store like that,” Merlin points out. “He was offering me walking shoes. Was probably ready to offer me a senior citizen discount.”

“Don’t think you’re quite there yet, bruv,” Eggsy says with a grin. “But I’d still wanna hang around ya even then.”

Eggsy looks around for Joe and Merlin takes a chance to study him. He’s pulled a hoodie over the polo shirt he wears for work, and his black jeans hug his legs nicely. When Eggsy raises his arm to wave Joe over, the sleeve of his hoodie droops a bit and Merlin sees the splint holding his ring and little fingers together. His blood runs cold. “Eggsy,” he murmurs.

“Hey, Joe.” Eggsy looks at Merlin. “Want the usual?” 

Merlin nods and Eggsy gives their order. “Lad…what is this?” He reaches over to take Eggsy’s hand.

“Oh, that…nothing.” He tries to pull the sleeve back down and Merlin holds on tighter. “Just…Dean,” he says with a sigh. “I ate the last biscuit. He weren’t pleased.”

“I wish ye would let me go have a talk with him,” Merlin growls. “I’m not the helpless nerd ye think I am. I used to box and still spar now and then. I could…”

“No,” Eggsy snaps, his face so twisted and angry that Merlin actually leans back. “Ain’t letting you near that bastard, ain’t gonna dirty your life with him. You dealing with me is bad enough.”

“Eggsy, I…I would be fine. I can take care of myself.”

“Doesn’t matter. Ain’t no one like him getting near the likes of you, ya get me?”

Eggsy’s voice is different. It’s scared and worried and…almost loving. Protective. “I get ye,” Merlin whispers.

“Now…” Eggsy takes a deep breath and pulls his hand away. “Let’s talk about something else, yeah? Lemme tell you what Daisy did today.” His face lights up at the thought of his little sister. “It was so cute. I think I took a picture…” Eggsy fumbles with his phone. 

Merlin stares at him as he talks, not really paying attention to his words. He looks at the soft hair, wishing he could run his fingers through it. He looks at the pink lips, wishing he had the courage to kiss them. He thinks of the strong body under the baggy hoodie. He notices the way Eggsy’s eyes sparkle when he talks about his sister, and wishes they’d sparkle like that when talking about him. Merlin then looks down at the table as a sinking feeling starts in his throat and ends up in the bottom of his stomach. The weight hits bottom with a thud and he actually takes a bit of a deep breath. 

“Merlin? You all right?” Eggsy stops in the middle of his story.

“I’m…I’m fine, lad. Just hungry, I suppose.”

And thunderstruck by the realization that he has fallen head over heels in love with Eggsy Unwin.

“Have ye ever been in love, Harry?”

Harry slowly stands up from where he’s been digging books out of the return bin. “I beg your pardon?”

“In love. Have ye ever loved someone…romantically?” The words sound foolish falling from Merlin’s lips but he needs to talk to someone about this.

“I thought I was in love a few times in my youth. Now, unfortunately, I am much more jaded. I’m not even sure true love exists.”

“Oh.” Merlin starts organizing supplies by the computer.

“Hamish.” Merlin turns around to find Harry smiling at him. It’s not a teasing smile, however, but a warm and sincere smile. “Is there something you wish to tell me?”

Merlin knows this is the time to tell Harry the truth, but he just can’t. Not yet. “I…I believe I am developing feelings for Eggsy.”

“Go on.”

Merlin looks around, even though he knows Eggsy is at work and would not possibly be standing anywhere within earshot. “He…I…he’s all I can think about. I love spending time with him, and I hate it when we need to part. We text all the time, or talk on the phone. We spend hours just talking about nothing. Movies. Games. Family. Animals. You name it, we’ve discussed it. And when I’m with him, I just…I want to hold his hand. I want to put my arm around him. I want to kiss him.”

“You still haven’t kissed him?” Harry asks incredulously.

“I dinnae say that,” Merlin replies, and it’s true. He didn’t say they hadn’t kissed. “He’s such an amazing young man.”

“I’m happy for you, Hamish.” Harry claps him on the shoulder. “I can tell by the way he looks at you that he cares for you as well.”

“I dinnae think it’s quite the same, but thank ye,” Merlin says. “I’m not what he wants, not long term. This is all temporary. He’ll find someone smarter, better looking…younger.”

“You don’t know that,” Harry retorts. “Does he know the strength of your feelings?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Perhaps you should tell him. You’ll never know if you don’t say something. Even if you don’t want to tell him you love him, you could let him know that you want something more than just a casual dating relationship.”

“Perhaps.”

“He’s been good for you,” Harry says suddenly. Merlin is surprised. “You’re happier. You smile more, joke more. You’re more outgoing, and you seem a bit more comfortable in your own skin.”

“I do?”

“You do.”

Merlin thinks about that for a long moment as Harry goes back to his books. Eggsy has said more than once that meeting Merlin has made his life better…perhaps it’s worked both ways. “Thank you for your advice, Harry.”

“Any time. You know I’m always here for you.”

_Are you busy Sunday evening?_  
 _No. Don’t gotta watch Daisy my night is free. What did u have in mind?_  
 _I would like to cook you dinner._  
 _Y?_  
 _Because you deserve it._ Merlin bites his bottom lip as he types. If he’s going to finally say something to Eggsy about his feelings, he wants to do it right. A romantic candlelight dinner is something he’s always wanted to do but never had anyone to do it with.  
 _What did I do 2 earn this?_  
 _Nothing other than be yourself. Can you be over by half-six?_  
 _Sure. Thx. Can’t wait._

“Fuck, it is raining cats and dogs out there!” Eggsy actually shakes himself off before entering Merlin’s flat. “Sorry if I’m dripping.”

“Ye are fine, lad,” Merlin promises. “I dinnae suppose you own an umbrella.”

“Brollies are for old men, bruv, not me.” Eggsy smiles to show he’s teasing. “Smells amazing in here!”

“A favorite recipe of mine, I hope you like it.” Merlin takes Eggsy’s jacket and hangs it up to dry. “I got wine…I know you’ve said it’s not your preference but I think ye will like this. It’s fruity and sweet.”

“I trust you,” Eggsy says earnestly, and Merlin almost wants to cry. Instead he busies himself with opening the wine and pouring them each a glass as he finishes setting the table. “How was work?”

“We had a daycare come in for a special field trip, and I made the mistake of asking Harry to help me. He is nae good with children.”

“I can only imagine,” Eggsy says, chuckling. “Can I help you?”

“Nae, lad, sit.” Merlin dishes rice onto each plate and covers it with chicken. “Here ye go.” He hands Eggsy his plate before sitting down as well. 

“This…wow.” Eggsy looks at the table for a moment. There are linen napkins at each place, and long candles at either side of the table. “Wine…candles…yer setting quite the mood.”

“I thought it would be nice on a rainy evening such as this.” Merlin picks up his glass. “To new friends.”

“To new friends.” Eggsy touches his glass to Merlin’s before taking a tentative sip. His eyebrows go up. “Wow. This is really good.”

“I was hoping ye would like it.” Merlin smiles as Eggsy takes a bigger swallow of the wine.

Merlin manages to hold up his side of the conversation although his nerves are twisting into a giant knot at the base of his stomach. He is absolutely petrified to tell Eggsy about his feelings. What if he’s horrified? What if he doesn’t want to be his friend anymore? Merlin knows he would feel the absence of Eggsy in his life in any capacity, and doesn’t even want to think about not being about to call or text him, or see him at the library.

He makes it through dinner and Eggsy insists on helping him clean up. Merlin has learned by now that Eggsy’s rather stubborn when it comes to pulling his own weight. Even with something like this, he doesn’t want to seem like he’s taking advantage of someone else’s generosity. It’s one of the many things Merlin likes about him. 

“I could probably have one more glass of wine,” Eggsy tells him, holding out his empty glass. “Ain’t like I’m driving or nothing.”

“Of course.” Merlin gives them each about a half-glass of wine. “Shall we sit on the sofa for a bit?”

“Sure.” Eggsy follows Merlin into the living room and sits next to him on the sofa.

Merlin drains most of his wine and Eggsy’s eyes widen. “I’d like to talk to ye about something, lad.”

“All right.”

“I…I’m not sure how to say it so I will just start talking. Hopefully it comes out right.” Merlin finishes the wine and stands up. He starts pacing, running a hand over his bald head. “I have really enjoyed spending time with ye, Eggsy.”

“Me, too.”

“I’ve learned a lot about many things over these past few weeks…especially about myself.” Eggsy gives him an odd look but doesn’t say anything. “As ye know, I’m quite shy. I dinnae feel I have much to offer the world, so I keep to myself.” Eggsy opens his mouth to protest. “Please, Eggsy. This is hard enough as it is. I’ve always looked in the mirror and seen an unattractive bald geek who likes books and computers and gadgets. I’ve never been good in a social situation and I only have one friend. But then ye stepped in that day, just popped up and pretended to be dating me. ME. No one has ever wanted to date me, and ye were ready and willing to say ye were doing it even when ye got nothing from it.”

“I got something,” Eggsy interrupts. “Made a great new friend, didn’t I?”

“Aye, ye did. But I’ve gotten so much more. Ye have made me brave, lad. Ye have made me see a bit of good in myself where I could never see it before. If someone like you, someone outgoing and funny and charming, if ye could wish to spend time with me, maybe I was worth spending time with. Maybe I’m worth…dating.”

“Of course you are!” Eggsy says indignantly.

“Well, I’ve never thought I was. But now I feel like I’m ready.” Merlin takes a deep breath. “I’ve been interested in men in the past, but could never do more than look at them from afar. But because of you, now I feel as if I could approach someone I liked, ask them if they’re interested in me as well.”

Eggsy slowly stands up. “Are…are ya saying ya got someone in mind?”

“Aye. I do,” Merlin says with a smile, happy that Eggsy seems to be catching on.

Eggsy surprises him by swallowing the rest of his wine in three gulps. “So, yer saying you fancy a bloke, and because of me, yer gonna say something to him?”

“Yes, exactly! If it wasn’t for you, I never…”

“Oh bloody fucking HELL!” Eggsy practically shouts, running his hand through his hair. “This is NOT how this was supposed to pan out!”

“What?” Merlin’s heart slams into his shoes. “What are ye talking about, lad?”

Eggsy begins to pace wildly, actually pulling at his own hair. He finally stops in front of Merlin, face red, practically panting for breath. “I ain’t the man you think I am, Merlin.”

“What do ye mean?”

“I didn’t come over and pretend to be dating you just because I heard Harry nagging you about it. I mean, that was part of it. He was being a self-righteous twat, and I wanted to shut him up. But it was more than that.” Eggsy draws a shuddering breath. “I didn’t just eavesdrop that day, Merlin. I…I eavesdropped all the time.” Merlin just stares at him. “The word you would probably use is stalking, although I only ever did it at the library. I hung around all the time, just out of sight. I…I noticed you the first time I walked through that door, but couldn’t never get the courage to say anything. Then I started listening to you and Harry talk, and I found out some things. First, and most importantly, you liked blokes. And then I learned about you, how shy you were, how little you thought of yourself. Made me so mad, cuz you are fucking ACES, Merlin. All the things I’ve been saying about you…I’ve thought them for months. You’re gorgeous. You’re brilliant. You’re sweet, you’re funny.”

“So…so you’ve been interested in me all this time?” Merlin can’t believe his ears. This gorgeous creature, the one Merlin pined after for months, wanted him as well?

“Yeah. I know it’s fucking crazy, and I’m sorry for like, lurking around the library or whatever. I just wanted to be near you, but I knew you’d never be interested in someone like me.” 

“Oh, Eggsy, that’s so…”

“No, Merlin.” Eggsy holds up a hand. “I don’t wanna hear it, all right? Know it’s rude, but I can’t. I can’t hear you talk about this bloke you wanna ask out, cuz…cuz I can’t. Like you too much, want you too much.” Merlin is shocked to see tears in the green eyes. “But I want you happy. I want you so fucking happy, Merlin, and I hope this bloke is ready to treat you right. He better treat you like the fucking prince you are, because if he don’t? I will find out and I will make his life a living hell,” Eggsy says almost savagely. “I’m so fucking pissed at myself…tried and tried to show you how great you were, give you self-confidence, and now it’s blowing up in my damn face. Figures…nothing good ever happens to me.” He wipes the back of his hand over his eyes. “Good luck, though. Hope it works out for ya.” He turns on a heel and heads for the door.

Merlin stupidly stares after him before finally jumping into motion. “No! Eggsy, wait!”

“Can’t, Merlin, gotta go.” He yanks his jacket from the hook and flies out the door, slamming it behind him.

Merlin gapes after him, wondering how in the world everything has gone tits up. He reaches for his phone, but realizes that Eggsy’s not going to answer. He slowly gets his own jacket and umbrella and heads out into the rain. He’s soaked by the time he reaches his destination, the umbrella doing nothing to help against the rain that is now blowing sideways. He doesn’t even remember the walk, his mind focused on Eggsy and what he’d said. Harry opens his door and stares at him. “Good God, Merlin, you look like a drowned rat. What’s going on?” He steps aside and allows Merlin to come in.

Merlin wipes a hand over his wet face and head. “I’ve really cocked things up, Harry.”

Harry starts to say something and then changes his mind. “I’ll get you some dry clothing and then we’ll talk.”


	7. Chapter 7

SEVEN

Harry gets Merlin dried off and into a vest and pajama bottoms before bringing him to the kitchen. “Tea or something stronger?”

“Well, ye will probably wish to hit me, so I’d better stick with tea.”

“I’m intrigued.” Harry puts the kettle on.

Merlin decides to give it one last try. He dials Eggsy’s number but of course it goes right to voicemail. “Lad, I believe there has been a bit of a misunderstanding. Please call me.”

Harry raises his eyebrows. “This keeps getting better.”

“I’m an idiot.” Merlin buries his face in his hands.

“Tell me something I don’t already know.” Harry prepares the tea and sits down with Merlin at the table. “What happened?”

Merlin sighs. “I’m nae quite sure how to go about telling ye.” He sips at his tea. “So I’ll just get on with it. Remember the first day at work when ye met Eggsy? He came up and talked to me about our dates?”

“Yes. I was quite surprised.”

“Aye.” Merlin studies his cup. “None of what he said was true.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“What Eggsy said…we’d been on three dates, including the cinema. It was a lie.” Harry looks at him in confusion. “Before that day, I’d only ever talked to him about library-related topics. We never went on a date, not to mention three dates. I dinnae even know he went by Eggsy…I only knew him as library patron Gary Unwin.”

Harry’s mouth actually falls open. “But you said…you said you’d gone on three dates with someone.”

“Yes. I was lying to get ye off my back. He overheard and decided to try and help me out, give me the boyfriend ye felt I needed.” Merlin puts a hand over his face again. “Now that I say the words, I realize how pathetic it sounds. I’m so miserably lonely and foolish that I can’t get a REAL boyfriend, only a pretend one.”

“So he’s…”

“He’s simply a nice young lad who jumped in to help someone in need.”

“I cannot believe you lied to me! We’ve been friends for ages. Why did you need to lie?”

“Because ye would not shut up! Ye just kept going on and on, making me feel like an anti-social idiot who can’t make friends and definitely not find someone willing to date me,” Merlin snaps. “I felt cornered, and Eggsy decided to help pull me out of that corner.”

“But you went on dates with him…I know you did. I saw you…”

“We decided to keep up the façade, but every moment we spent together was platonic. Friends only. I’ve nae done anything more than hug the lad. Except now…”

“Now you have feelings for him,” Harry finishes. “You told me you were falling for him.”

“Aye,” Merlin says miserably. “And tonight I tried to tell him. I explained how because of him I felt braver, ready to share my feelings with someone. He misunderstood and thought I meant someone else. He then went on to tell me that he’s been interested in me all the time…he used to hover by the front desk to listen and watch me.”

“That’s…interesting.”

“I know it sounds, well, creepy, but I don’t mind, actually. He didn’t DO anything…he just was too self-conscious to come over and talk to me, until I gave him the opportunity.”

“So I am the only one that hasn’t been lying in this entire thing.” Harry looks pleased with himself and Merlin rolls his eyes. Harry grows somber. “But apparently I was hurting your feelings with my constant nagging about your social life. I am very sorry, Hamish. You know I only ever have your best interests at heart. I would like to see you happy.”

“I know, Harry. And I am sorry I lied to ye. It wasn’t my intention. I thought I’d say I was dating, make up a few details, and ye would leave it alone. I dinnae ever think Eggsy would come into the picture.”

“And now he’s not talking to you?”

“It seems that way,” Merlin says miserably. “He ran from my flat after telling me that if the person I end up with doesn’t treat me right, he’ll make their life a living hell. He called me a prince,” Merlin remembers fondly.

“Call him.”

“I did. You heard me. His phone was off.”

“Text him.”

“I’m nae going to…”

“Do it or I will.”

“I dinnae want to confess my love to him through text or voicemail, Harry.”

“Just tell him you wish to talk.”

Merlin sighs but does as he’s told. He sends Eggsy a text similar to his voicemail, but doesn’t expect a reply. “I’ve really messed things up, haven’t I?”

“It was miscommunication and nothing more. You’ll hear from him soon, I’m sure.”

“I am very sorry I lied to ye, Harry.”

“I forgive you, Hamish…it wasn’t my most stellar moment, either.” They give each other a warm smile and Harry puts his hand Merlin’s arm for a long moment. “It will be all right.”

“I hope so,” Merlin says with a sigh.

By Tuesday morning Merlin has pretty much decided he’s fated to be miserable. He’s left Eggsy one more voicemail and sent one more text (at Harry’s urging) with no response. Eggsy hasn’t been to the library, of course, and Merlin now knows what heartbreak feels like.

“I was so stupid to think that a relationship built on lies could actually go anywhere,” he says to Harry, sighing dramatically.

Harry looks up from the computer. “And you call ME the drama queen. Perhaps you could go to his job and talk to him?”

“Nae. I would nae do that to him, not at his place of employment. I just need to…get over it. Get over him.”

“This is ridiculous. The two of you care for each other and belong together,” Harry says firmly.

“This is nae one of your movies, Harry,” Merlin informs him. “This is my life.”

“I know. You’re my best friend, and you deserve to be happy.” Harry thinks for a moment. “If I can get him in here, will you talk to him?”

“Harry…”

“Will you?”

“Yes, of course,” Merlin snaps.

“Very well.” Harry goes into the computer and writes something down on a scrap of paper. “I will be right back.” He takes the paper and disappears into the history section. Merlin shakes his head and busies himself with a new shipment of books. Harry returns ten minutes later with a triumphant smile on his face. “He will be here for story hour tomorrow.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” Harry straightens his tie and comes back behind the desk.

“What…how…”

“I texted him and said who I was and asked that he call me immediately. He did…because he thought something happened to you.” Harry beams at Merlin.

“He…he did?”

“Yes. I told him you were fine, but that you needed to talk to him. I informed him that I was aware of the lie, and that he needed to listen to you, just once. He started to protest, but I told him to man up and give you a chance.”

“Harry!” Merlin gasps. He desperately wants to know more. He wants to know every word of the conversation. How did Eggsy sound? Was he angry? Hurt? Upset?

“It worked…he will be here for story hour tomorrow.” Harry goes back to the computer. “So I’d come up with something good, if I were you.”

Merlin gapes at him. “So…just like that. I’m supposed to fix all this just like that?”

“Of course. You’re an intelligent human being.”

“But…not when it comes to feelings and things like that!” Merlin grasps the edge of the counter. “I cannae do this. I’ll make a fool of myself and he’ll regret ever coming up to the counter that day.”

“Will you stop beating yourself up, Hamish?” Harry practically hisses. “I think his feelings are just as strong as yours. You just need to open the lines of communication.”

“Right.”

“And not chicken out.”

“Harry!”

“I’m just saying…I’ve met you.”

“I thought ye were trying to help me.”

“I am. I’m pushing you out of the nest. Fly free, Hamish…and make that young man see how you feel.”

“Drama queen,” Merlin mutters. But he goes to the supply box for Children’s Hour and tries to come up with a way to get Eggsy back.

Merlin is a nervous wreck by the time the children start arriving the next day. Eggsy is nowhere to be seen, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t there. It’s not like he hadn’t made himself invisible all the times he said he’d eavesdropped on Harry and Merlin before. He manages to greet all the parents and sit down by a box of puppets. “Good morning, everyone.”

“Good morning, Mr. McNair!” They all shout.

“Now, today we’re going to do something a bit different. This is nae going to be from a book, but I hope ye will enjoy it.” He picks up the puppets of a prince and princess. “Once upon a time there were two people that lived in the same kingdom. A beautiful young princess, with golden hair and green eyes, and a tall prince, who was rather shy. The prince and princess would often visit the village, although they never met. One day the prince was speaking with a man who was trying to tell him what to do, saying he was boring and old and that he needed to change the way he lived his life.”

“Sounds like a bully,” one of the children called out, and Merlin smiled.

“That’s right, Matthew…he is a bit of a bully,” he says, desperately hoping Harry is within earshot. 

“The princess felt bad for the prince and stepped in, telling the bully that the prince was very interesting, and that she loved spending time with him. This was nae exactly true, since they’d never been introduced, but she was such a kind and friendly person that she felt bad for the prince and wanted to help him. So they met and became friends, realizing that they liked doing the same things. They walked in the forest together, talked to the animals together, read books together. And the prince soon realized that as much as he loved the princess as a friend, he loved her in a different way as well.”

“Is there gonna be kissing?” A boy calls out. “I don’t like kissing.”

“Shut up!” A little girl says, poking him. “I like kissing.”

Merlin feels his face turn pink. “No kissing…not yet. So one day the shy prince got up his nerve and decided to tell the princess about his feelings, but she misunderstood. She did nae realize he cared for her, and thought he cared for someone else. She told him she had loved him all along, and that she could nae listen to him speak of his love for another. She ran from his castle out into the woods.”

“And a lion got her!” Says the boy who didn’t like kissing.

“There aren’t any lions in the woods,” the little girl snaps. “I bet it was a dragon.”

“Ooh, a dragon!” The other children say in excitement. They look at Merlin expectantly and he quickly changes his plan. He digsthrough the puppet box and came out with a dragon.

“Yes, a horrible dragon. The dragon swooped down from the sky, chasing the princess through the forest. She was very strong and very fast, but the dragon was faster, and soon she realized she had nowhere left to go. But then, out of nowhere, the prince came rushing in on his horse, swept her up in front of him, and carried her to safety.”

“Yay!” The children cheer.

“What happened to the dragon?” The little boy demands. 

“He flew back home and looked for someone else to chase,” Merlin tells him. “The prince took the princess to a special place and talked with her. He explained how much he loved her, and she told him she loved him as well. And they lived happily ever after.”

“Yay!” They cheer again, clapping.

“And now, children, we have drawing supplies at the tables.” Harry appears out of nowhere and Merlin looks at him in confusion. “Why don’t you draw pictures from the story?”

The children hurry to the tables and start digging through the bins of crayons. “Harry…”

“I do believe you have some work to do in the romance section,” Harry murmurs, taking the puppets from Merlin’s hands and dropping them into the bin.

“I do? Oh.” Merlin slowly stands up and straightens his tie. He tugs at the bottom of his jumper before slowly making his way to the romance section. He sees a familiar figure waiting at the back of a row. “Eggsy.”

Eggsy turns around, his green eyes wide and bright. “You…you made a puppet show about us?”

“Aye.” Merlin fidgets before him. “I’m sorry ye were so upset, lad. I cocked up telling ye how I felt. I was never very good with expressing my emotions.”

“I shoulda let you finish,” Eggsy says. “You ain’t mad that I was stalking you like a fucking creeper?”

“Nae,” Merlin says earnestly. “It’s quite flattering, actually.” He reaches down and takes Eggsy’s hands in his. “I meant what I said at my flat, lad. I have changed for the better because of you. I feel braver, feel worthy of so many things. Ye are an incredible person. Charming, thoughtful, handsome…and ye say that ye had feelings for me all this time?”

Eggsy nods. “Guess I’m just as bad as you…was too afraid to say nothing…thought you’d never be interested in someone like me.”

“Hear me when I say I am interested in ye, Eggsy Unwin. Very VERY interested.”

Merlin looks down into Eggsy’s eyes. Eggsy bites his bottom lip, stands on tiptoe, and wraps his arms around Merlin’s shoulders. As their lips meet in their very first kiss, Merlin feels as if the entire library has fallen away, and his entire world is Eggsy. His lips, his arms, his body. He puts his arms around Eggsy’s waist and holds him close. 

Eggsy is the first one to pull away, lightly gasping for breath. “Sorry I ran out of yer flat like an idiot,” he finally manages. “Was so stupid. And then I ignored your messages…”

“It’s all right, lad. We will learn to communicate better.” Merlin reaches up to brush some hair from his forehead. 

“So can…can I take ya out for an actual date?” Eggsy asks hopefully. “Like the real thing…romance and everything.”

“I would love a real date with romance and everything,” Merlin says with a grin. Suddenly he feels as if he could walk on air.

“Tomorrow night?” Eggsy asks. “Oh, you have your guild…”

“They can live without me. I’d much rather be with you.” Merlin shyly brings Eggsy’s hands up to kiss them.

“All right.” Eggsy kisses him again and Merlin feels lightheaded. “I’d better go before we get in trouble for snogging in the stacks.”

“I know the employees here…they’re grumpy old men.”

“I like grumpy old men.” Eggsy kisses him once more and regretfully pulls away. “Pick you up at half-six tomorrow?”

“Aye. But we’ll talk before then?”

“Definitely.” Eggsy gives him one of his cheeky grins and Merlin is officially enthralled. “Goodbye, Merlin.”

“Goodbye, lad.” Merlin watches Eggsy walk away and tries to figure out how this is his life.


	8. Chapter 8

EIGHT

This time Merlin DOES ask for Harry’s help with his outfit. It’s a real date, after all. 

“Hamish, when was your last date?” Harry says as they eat their lunch. The part-time girl is at the front desk and they’re alone in the employee lounge.

Merlin thinks for a moment before taking another slurp of his soup. “It was…two thousand four, perhaps?”

“Good Lord.” Harry looks stunned. “That was fifteen years ago!”

“I may be a bit awkward, Harry, but I can do arithmetic,” Merlin says with an eye roll. “I dinnae need your help with that, I need help with my clothing.”

“All right.” Harry finishes his sandwich and brushes the crumbs from his hands. “What are you doing?”

Merlin digs his mobile from his pocket. “His text said we’re going somewhere nice for dinner and I’m not to offer to pay.”

“Somewhere nice,” Harry muses. “Suit and tie?” He asks hopefully.

“I told ye when ye bought me that thing that I’d never have a place to wear it,” Merlin grumbles. “And no…I have a feeling the lad does not have a suit of his own, so he would nae expect me to wear one.”

“Of course.” Harry thinks for a moment. “I think a simple shirt and tie will suffice. You will look nice but not too nice, and he shouldn’t feel uncomfortable. A shirt and tie will go a long way at a nice restaurant. I’d suggest a jacket, but these days you can get on without if you wish.”

“I’m nervous, Harry,” Merlin confides. His insides have been in a constant state of upheaval since the day before. He’d texted with Eggsy for hours later that night, and while he knows Eggsy is sincere about his feelings, Merlin hasn’t dated much. What if he cocks it all up again?

“Hamish.” Harry gives him a kind smile. “For all my ribbing, you know I feel you are one of the best men on the planet. You are intelligent. You are funny. You are very kind. He is lucky to have you.”

“Harry.” Merlin blushes.

“And as for him…I admit I don’t know him well, but I truly believe in the strength of his feelings for you. He might have said he was playing a part, but I for one believed it. His expression when he looked at you…” Harry actually sighs.

“Oh, I know that look on your face, Harry Hart. That’s your ‘I’m watching a real life Hallmark movie’ look,” Merlin snaps, but he blushes even more.

“Stop,” Harry says, turning a bit pink himself. “At any rate, Hamish, you will be fine. You’ve been fine with him all along, what’s changed?”

“This is real. I could fuck this up royally.”

“There is an easy solution to that.” Harry begins to pack up his lunch bag. “Don’t fuck it up.”

Merlin is ready at six, which gives himself thirty minutes to pace and worry. What if Eggsy doesn’t show up? What if this is just some great joke he’s been playing? His boy is smart, he could come up with a joke like that. His boy. HIS boy. Like that’s ever going to happen. Someone like Eggsy belongs with a younger, handsomer, sexier man. Not a shriveled up old librarian who likes World of Warcraft and tinkering with electronics.

He’s deep into a wave of self-pity when the doorbell rings, literally shocking him off his feet. Merlin takes a deep breath, tries to pull himself together, and opens the door. “Hello, Eggsy,” he says as the door swings open. He’s all ready to give Eggsy every reason to turn and walk away when he sees the look on Eggsy’s face. He’s staring open-mouthed, a bit of a blush on his handsome face. “Are ye all right, lad?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says faintly. “Fuck, Merlin, you’re gorgeous.”

“What?” Merlin says in confusion. He looks down at his grey trousers, black shirt, and grey and black tie. “I…oh. Well, you’ve…you’ve seen me in a tie before.”

“Yeah, but it’s usually buried under a bulky jumper. This…you’re fit.” Eggsy looks impressed and Merlin blushes.

“Ye know I go to the gym.”

“Still…” Eggsy shakes his head as if to clear it. “Didn’t realize I’d snagged such a fit bloke.”

“I believe I am the lucky one,” Merlin says softly. 

Eggsy shyly smiles and looks up at him from under his lashes. Merlin’s knees go weak. He’s wearing black jeans, black trainers, and a nice blue button-up that brings out his eyes. He’s wearing a tie as well, although it’s sloppily tied and Merlin knows it would make Harry wince. He reaches out to fix it but remembers at the last minute and yanks his hands back. “Wot?”

“Your, uh, your tie. It…”

“Yeah, I know.” Eggsy makes a face. “Shit at ties, ain’t gonna lie.”

“May I?” Merlin asks. “When you’re friends with Harry Hart, ye learn how to tie correctly or ye never hear the end of it.”

“Course.”

Merlin deftly undoes the untidy knot and quickly fixes it. His knuckles brush under Eggsy’s chin and it seems Eggsy unconsciously moves closer. Merlin bites his bottom lip and looks into Eggsy’s eyes. The invitation is blatantly clear, and Merlin leans down to kiss him. He feels Eggsy’s sigh, and Eggsy puts a hand on his waist. Eggsy’s other hand comes up to palm at the back of Merlin’s neck, and Merlin feels his legs gel a bit more. “I…I suppose we should go,” he says regretfully when they finally pull apart. “We are giving my neighbors quite a show.”

“Sorry,” Eggsy says breathlessly, the cheeky grin on his face showing he is absolutely not sorry at all.

Merlin locks the door and follows Eggsy out onto the pavement. He stops and stares as Eggsy goes to a car and opens the passenger door. “What…”

“Ain’t mine of course,” Eggsy says quickly. “Jamal’s uncle let me borrow it. He’s got a nice little shop, lives in an actual house…always liked me, and when Jamal told him I was having a first date with someone, he offered to let me borrow it.”

“We could have taken the Tube…or a cab,” Merlin says weakly.

“No way. My bloke deserves to be treated right.” Eggsy motions with his head. “Get in.”

Merlin slides onto the seat and Eggsy closes the door. Once Eggsy’s behind the wheel, Merlin says, “Do ye treat all your dates this way?”

Eggsy frowns, hands on the wheel. “Told ya I ain’t dated much, Merlin. Just…fooling around, really. This is different. YOU’RE different.” He turns to look at him. “Swear down.”

“I dinnae deserve all…this.” Merlin waves a hand in the air. “Fish and chips and a pint would have been fine.”

“We done that already. This is special. This is real.” Eggsy starts the car. “And you deserve the fucking world so you can just miss me with that shite.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just…I’m nae used to…”

“It’s okay.” Eggsy gives him a sunny smile before taking his hand and kissing it. “I’ll make sure you hear it often enough.”

He drives them to the other side of the city and finds a carpark. Eggsy takes Merlin’s hand in his as they leave the car and start walking. “Oh,” Merlin says without thinking.

“Is…izzat okay?” Eggsy looks concerned. 

“It’s fine. I’ve never…yes,” Merlin finishes lamely. “I just…you said not many people know. About your preferences.”

“Well, we ain’t exactly walking around my neighborhood,” Eggsy points out. “And I’m proud to be seen with you. Gonna come out sooner or later, right?”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin says softly, and Eggsy stops walking. “That ye have to hide it.”

“Figured you might be more worried about it, to be honest,” Eggsy says. “Not to point out your age or nothing, but your generation…lived a lot different than mine.”

“True,” Merlin says. “I’ve always been honest about my sexuality, to the horror of my family. I’ve never really had anyone to be ‘out’ with, though, so this is quite new. I dinnae mind at all.” He squeezes Eggsy’s hand.

“Good.” There’s that sunny grin again, and Merlin decides he will do everything in his power to keep it on Eggsy’s face.

Eggsy leads him down the pavement and stops in front of a tiny Italian bistro. “This okay?”

“This looks lovely.”

Eggsy holds the door for him and follows him in. “Reservation for two…Unwin?”

“Yes, sir.” The host leads them to a booth in the back.

“Thanks.” Eggsy climbs in and Merlin sits across from him. “Always thought this place looked nice. Not too fancy, but just right for a first date.”

“Perfect for a first date,” Merlin says with a shy grin.

“I meant what I said…you’re not paying for a damn thing,” Eggsy tells him. “Order whatever you want.”

“Oh, Eggsy,” Merlin says. He wants to protest, but the look on Eggsy’s face is so earnest and hopeful. He realizes that Eggsy really wants to do this, wants to pamper Merlin and treat him well. He decides to order what he really wants, but makes sure it’s not too extravagantly priced.

Once their drinks are delivered and they place their order, Eggsy starts to fidget. “I…I wanted to ask ya something.”

“All right.” Merlin frowns a bit.

“How would ya feel about meeting my mum?”

Merlin blinks at him. “I beg your pardon, lad?”

“My mum. I thought…I thought maybe this weekend I could bring her and Daisy around to the park…we could hang out there.”

“Ye wish for me to meet your mother?” Merlin whispers.

“Well, yeah,” Eggsy says as if Merlin’s an idiot. “Why wouldn’t I? You’ve already met my flower.”

“I just…that’s a big step.” Merlin looks down at his glass of water. “I’m no sort of prize.”

“You are to me.” Eggsy reaches over and actually takes Merlin’s hand. “I wish you’d see what I see, Hamish.” Merlin looks at him in surprise. Eggsy never uses his given name. “You are handsome. You are hard-working and responsible. You are good with children. You are kind. What mother wouldn’t want that for her son?”

“I’m old…much older than you. I’m boring. I work a job that has no possibility for advancement.”

“Hamish, I spent weeks hovering in the shadows trying to find a way to get you to notice me,” Eggsy says quietly. “Would I do that for someone who I thought was boring? And I don’t care about your career advancement.” He shakes his head. “I work in a shoe store, for fuck’s sake. I sure as shit ain’t no one to brag about at your school reunion.”

“I would gladly show ye off at my reunion,” Merlin says immediately. “You’d put any trophy wife to shame.”

Eggsy laughs out loud and Merlin has to smile. “Yeah, I probably would. I’d make ‘em talk a bit, at least.”

“I’m older than your mother, am I not?” Merlin asks, and Eggsy nods with a sheepish grin on her face. “That would nae bother her?”

“You’re not some old pervert only after me for my body.” Eggsy studies him carefully. “Are you?”

“Yes, lad. Those thighs and that arse are the ONLY reason I’ve spent time with you these past weeks,” Merlin says dryly, and Eggsy snickers.

“Glad you noticed.” Eggsy winks at him. Then he sobers. “Dean’s put us all through a lot of shit, Hamish. You know some of it. She just wants me happy. Spending time with you makes me really fucking happy.”

“Aye, I enjoy it as well,” Merlin says. “I would love to meet your mother.”

“Great.” Eggsy beams at him as their food is served. “Just get ready for the Spanish Inquisition. She’s gonna ask you a lot of stuff, I’m figuring.”

“What do I tell her?”

“The truth,” Eggsy says, then pauses. “Well…maybe not about how we got together. She don’t need to know all the fake dating stuff.”

“We met at the library. That’s the truth.”

“Right.” Eggsy looks at his food, looks at Merlin, and raises his glass. “To first dates.”

“To the first of MANY dates,” Merlin says, and Eggsy happily clinks his glass to Merlin’s.

Eggsy parks the car in front of Merlin’s flat and turns off the engine. “So.”

“So…are ye going to walk me to my door?” Merlin asks bravely. He realizes it was the right thing to say when Eggsy rewards him with a bright grin, hopping out of the car to open Merlin’s door. The evening has been everything Merlin could have dreamt of. The conversation flowed easily, the food was excellent, and he quickly forgot they were on a ‘date.’ This was just like all the other times they’d been together, except this time Eggsy holds his hand on the way to the car, and in the car, and as they walk up to the Merlin’s building.

He lets them into his flat and closes the door behind them. “So.” Eggsy looks up at him. “We didn’t have dessert or nothing.”

“You’re right, we didn’t.” Merlin thinks. “I dinnae have anything that could be considered dessert, but I could make coffee, if ye wished to stay a bit longer.”

“I’d love to stay a bit longer,” Eggsy tells him. Merlin swallows hard and leads the way to the kitchen. 

“Ye know where the cups are, and the milk,” Merlin says. Eggsy’s been in his flat enough that he can easily find his way around. 

“Hamish.” When Merlin turns from the counter Eggsy isn’t getting cups or milk. He’s leaning against the other counter, the look in his eyes unmistakable. “I really want to kiss you. Been gagging for it all night.” He crooks his finger at Merlin, gesturing him over.

Merlin slowly walks over and Eggsy rests his hands on his hips, his grip warm and heavy. “I suppose coffee could wait.”

“I suppose it could.” Eggsy surges up on tiptoe to kiss him and Merlin feels as if his body is no longer under his control. His hands slide from Eggsy’s shoulders down his back to his arse, gently squeezing it. Eggsy gasps into his mouth and seems to melt against him, his hands digging in at Merlin’s waist. Merlin takes a chance and nibbles a bit on Eggsy’s bottom lip. Eggsy groans and tilts his head, forcing Merlin’s mouth to drag down along Eggsy’s jaw. He takes the hint and starts to kiss his way down the slender neck. “Fuck, Hamish,” Eggsy gasps, his hands now fisting in Merlin’s shirt.

“I love when ye say my name,” Merlin murmurs over Eggsy’s ear. “My real name.”

“Call you whatever ya want,” Eggsy pants. “Call ya Daddy if it turns ya on.”

Merlin shivers, and not in a good way. “Nae…Hamish will do.”

Eggsy chuckles and nips at Merlin’s chin. “We could take this in the other room…onto the sofa…”

Merlin pulls back. His heart is thudding in his ear and his cock is beating an excited “yes please” in sexual Morse code. “I…I just want to remind ye, lad, how little experience I have.” This isn’t anything Merlin wants to talk about but it cannot be ignored. “I will probably end up disappointing ye in the bedroom, when we get that far.”

“No you won’t.” Eggsy cups Merlin’s face in his hand. “It’s you. Your hands, your mouth, your body. I get to touch and kiss all that? That’s all I need. Everything else will fall into place. I ain’t in no hurry.” His thumb gently rubs over Merlin’s lips. “I know ya probably think since I’m a bloke in my twenties, I’m only looking to get my dick wet. Ain’t the truth. Not with you.” Eggsy smiles up at him. “Besides…kinda been fantasizing about YOU being the one to get your dick wet.”

The idea of fucking Eggsy, making love to him, pushing inside…it’s almost more than Merlin can take. “You glorious naughty lad.” Merlin kisses him again, kisses him hard and fast until Eggsy’s actually laughing.

“Well, guess that’s a fantasy we can share, then.” Eggsy locks his fingers at the back of Merlin’s neck. “I should go. We go and sit down and this will probably go much further than either of us really want tonight.”

“I think you’re right.” Merlin regretfully steps away. He takes Eggsy’s hand, kisses it, and leads him back to the front door. “Please text me and let me know you’re home safe.”

“I will.” Eggsy gives him a chaste kiss. “I had a wonderful time tonight, Hamish.”

“I did, too. Thank ye for everything.” He kisses Eggsy’s forehead. “Good night, my Eggsy.”

Eggsy gives him the sweetest smile Merlin’s ever seen. “Good night, my Hamish.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who was kind enough to read this and give feedback. Wyvernwolf, I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Please feel free to drop me a line on tumblr at zebraljb. I am the same on Instagram, although I rarely post there.

NINE

Merlin tries to control himself and act his age but he can’t help it. He leaves his flat over an hour early and is pacing in front of Hyde Park almost thirty minutes before Eggsy and his family are due to arrive. He’d agonized in front of his closet for most of the morning before deciding on a lightweight jumper and jeans. This is Hyde Park, not Buckingham Palace.

“Merlin!” Merlin turns at the sound of someone shouting his name. “Merlin!” Daisy tackles his legs and smiles up at him. “Hi! We came to play with you! Mummy came too!”

“I am so very glad to see ye, lass,” he tells her, ruffling her hair a bit. He looks at Eggsy and then at the woman next to him. “Hello. I’m Hamish McNair, but some people call me Merlin. Ye may use whichever ye wish,” he adds almost shyly.

“Hello. Michelle Baker.” She holds out her hand, seeming as nervous as he is.

He shakes it and smiles down at her. “I’ve brought a bit of tea…I hope that’s all right. I dinnae wish to ruin Daisy’s dinner.”

“Tea?” Daisy looks down at the basket with delight. “Are there cakes in there?”

“Perhaps, if ye are good and listen to your brother and mother,” he tells her.

“I’m always the best good ever.”

Eggsy snorts. “I beg to differ on that, flower. Let’s go play first, all right?”

Merlin picks up the basket and follows the others into the park. They find a table in the shade and he sets down the basket. “Merlin, push me on the swings!” Daisy demands.

“Daisy…you don’t tell a grown-up what to do,” Eggsy reminds her.

“Please push me?” Daisy asks hopefully.

“Of course, lass. Maybe today is the day ye will touch the sky.”

“Yay!” Daisy grabs his hand and tugs him toward the swings.

Merlin pushes her for about twenty minutes before Eggsy comes to relieve him. “Go sit with Mum,” he suggests.

“I dinnae think…”

“Babe.” The endearment slips out almost unconsciously and Merlin blushes a bit. “Just go talk to her. She don’t bite.”

“Ye dinnae know that for sure,” Merlin says, but he returns to the table while Eggsy takes Daisy to the monkey bars. He returns to the table and gives Michelle a tentative smile as he sits down.

“You’re good with her,” she observes. “You got kids?”

“Nae…I have not been that fortunate.” He goes into the basket and comes out with a bottle of water, which he hands to her. She smiles her thanks. “Daisy is a darling girl.”

“She’s a handful, but I know I’m lucky. Two great kids.”

“Aye,” Merlin says softly. “I do think Eggsy is rather spectacular.”

“He seems to think you hung the moon as well,” she says, surprising him. His shock must show on his face, because she smiles. “I hear about ya all the time. Merlin did this, Merlin said the funniest thing…”

“Oh. Well…I do enjoy our time together. Your son is amazing for a lad his age. He works so hard, is so responsible with Daisy.”

“Yeah, dunno what I’d do without him sometimes,” she says almost sadly. “You mention his age…was a bit surprised when he told me how old you were.”

“Yes.” Merlin busies himself with the basket. “I know it must be odd to ye, having your son date a man older than you are.”

“It did concern me,” she admits. 

“I promise ye, Michelle, that my intentions toward your son are nothing but honorable.” He winces a bit, realizing he sounds like one of Harry’s romances. “He is a good lad, handsome and smart and strong, and I feel quite fortunate that he’s decided to give me his attention.”

“You don’t need to sell yourself…not to me,” she tells him. “I’m sure you have quite the opinion of me…how I raise Daisy…the choices I’ve made.”

“Michelle, I have no right to judge anything you do,” Merlin says quickly. “I cannae walk in your shoes. You’ve done what you thought you had to do.”

“Be good to my boy,” she says suddenly. “Just make him happy. Keep him safe. Don’t hurt him.”

“Oh, I can promise ye I will do everything I can to make him happy AND keep him safe. And hurting him is the last thing I would ever wish to do.”

“All right then.” She nods as Daisy comes barreling back.

“Mummy, I hanged upside down, did you see?”

“I did, love. You’re getting real good.”

“NOW can we see what’s in that basket?” Daisy pokes at it a bit.

“We’ve barely been here thirty minutes, Daisy,” Eggsy says with a laugh.

“I just might have gotten someone’s favorite fruit tarts,” Merlin says.

“Thirty minutes is long enough,” Eggsy says, opening the basket and digging in.

They spend about four hours at the park, eventually allowing Daisy to run about with some other children while they sit at the table and watch. Merlin finally feels more at ease with Michelle, and she seems to have a nice time as well. Eggsy happily sits between them, one hand on Merlin’s leg the entire time.

When Michelle goes to retrieve Daisy and prepare her for leaving, Merlin turns to Eggsy and slowly puts his arm around him. Eggsy moves a bit closer and smiles up at him. “I had a good time today. Did you?”

“Aye, lad, I did. Any time with you is precious, but I enjoyed being with your family as well.” Merlin looks down at him and sighs a bit. He cannot believe this gorgeous creature wishes to spend time with him, share his family. There are moments when Merlin is alone when he actually yearns to touch Eggsy, to learn every inch of his beautiful body. And then Eggsy smiles at him like this, and Merlin feels as if the sun is shining into his soul.

“They’re the best.” Eggsy sighs. “Just…just wish I could have you over proper. But Dean…”

“I understand, Eggsy. I dinnae wish to cause you any trouble.” He gently rubs Eggsy’s shoulder. “Would ye be able to come for dinner tomorrow night?”

“Really?” Eggsy’s face lights up. “Yeah. I'm helping my friend Ryan move tomorrow but I'd love to come. I can be there by half-two.”

“You’d like to come that early?” Merlin cannot keep the grin off his face.

“I had my way I’d follow you home now.” Eggsy bites his bottom lip. “Really wanna kiss you right now, Hamish…but I don’t feel right doing it front of Mum and Daisy. Not yet.”

“I’ll take a raincheck on that kiss until tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Eggsy promises, and Merlin knows it’s going to be a long twenty-four hours.

Merlin spends Sunday morning cleaning the flat and shopping for the items required for dinner. He’s back, showered, shaved and dressed by two, and finds himself glaring at the clock until the doorbell rings at 2:20. All he’s been able to think about since leaving Hyde Park is time alone with Eggsy. Time laughing, talking, cuddling, and hopefully kissing. A LOT of kissing. He throws the door open before the doorbell’s done ringing, unable to keep the delight from his face. “Eggsy.”

“Hi, Hamish.” Eggsy politely steps in, closes the door behind him, and throws himself into Merlin’s arm. “Time for my kiss. Been thinking about it all fucking day.”

“Poor baby,” Merlin says, one hand running through Eggsy’s hair before pulling him in for the kiss.

“Worth the wait,” Eggsy murmurs when they come up for breath.

“Quite the compliment.” Merlin pushes Eggsy against the closed door and kisses him again, hands sliding down to cup the delectable arse.

“Hamish!” Eggsy almost squeaks. Merlin snickers and nips at his throat. “Behave…I’m not deflowering you against your front door.” Eggsy kisses Merlin’s nose and gently pushes him away. “Definitely not that kind of movie, bruv. Wouldn’t do that to ya. Let me go change, yeah? Want out of these work clothes.”

“Of course.” Merlin blushes and clears his throat. “Why don’t you change in my room?”

“All right.” Eggsy kisses him on the cheek and darts around him to head down the hall.

Merlin stands and thinks for a moment, hand rubbing back and forth over the top of his head. They’ve not talked much about sex, although Eggsy is aware that Merlin has limited experience. Merlin’s getting the feeling, however, that Eggsy wants to handle him with kid gloves. Merlin doesn’t WANT to be handled with kid gloves. He just wants to be handled. Quite often. By Eggsy and no one else. He slowly follows Eggsy down the hall and stands outside the open bedroom door. “Eggsy? Can I talk to you about something?”

“Course. And you can come in…I’m decent.”

Merlin turns the corner and steps into the room. “Fuck me,” he whispers.

Eggsy is standing by the bed clad only in a pair of jeans. He shoves his work shoes into his duffel and pulls out another pair of trainers. “What did ya wanna talk about?”

Merlin is temporarily transfixed by the ripple of Eggsy’s abdominal muscles. “I…well…” He mentally slaps himself and takes a deep breath. “I wanted to talk about sex.”

Eggsy slowly turns around to face him, vest in hand. “Okay,” he says slowly.

“We’ve nae really discussed it…meaning what we want and so forth.” Merlin knows he sounds like an idiot; he definitely feels like one. Eggsy just looks at him. “I was thinking about it…have thought about it a lot, actually. I get the feeling ye…I’m not afraid of sex,” he blurts out.

“I never…”

“Well, at the door, ye said something about deflowering me. I am not some shy virginal maid, Eggsy. Well, I am shy at times, and virginal, but I am no maid. I am a man…a man who wants ye. I have some experience, although it is nothing close to what one could call extensive.”

“You’ve been thinking about this?” Eggsy sounds surprised.

“Oh, lad. I think about it most of my waking moments when I am nae with ye. I have more than once thought about it while sleeping, and woke up hard and yearning for ye.”

“Oh.” Eggsy swallows hard. 

Merlin walks over, takes the vest, and tosses it back into Eggsy’s bag. “I love the fact that ye are trying to respect me and not rush me. I love that ye seem to want me to know that ye are not just hoping to lure me into bed. But please, Eggsy, dinnae think for one second that I dinnae want ye.” He reaches out and puts his hands on Eggsy’s naked shoulders. His fingers tremble a bit and Eggsy takes each hand in one of his. He then guides Merlin’s hands down his bare chest. Merlin’s thumbs graze over Eggsy’s hard nipples and they both hiss.

“We have a while until you have to start dinner,” Eggsy says, his voice hoarse. 

“Aye.”

“We could…we could just stay up here. Perhaps lay down and talk a bit?” Eggsy looks up at him, biting his bottom lip.

“We could do that. The bed is large and comfortable.” Merlin snags Eggsy’s bed and puts it on the chair across the room. When he turns back around Eggsy is sprawled out on his bed, hair fanning out a bit on Merlin’s favorite pillow, one arm carelessly tossed up over his head. “Well.” Merlin clears his throat.

Eggsy pats the bed next to him and Merlin slowly walks over. He toes off his shoes, hesitates just briefly, and reaches for the hem of his jumper. He pulls it over his head along with his vest, and now he’s as undressed as Eggsy. Eggsy’s eyes widen and he actually licks his lips as his beautiful eyes wander over Merlin’s torso. “Yer fit,” Eggsy says finally. “Had no clue.”

“I hope it is to your liking.”

“Fuck yeah, it’s to my liking.” Eggsy rolls onto his side and props his head up with his hand. Merlin climbs onto the bed and mirrors his position. “Didn’t want to rush you.”

“I know.” Merlin leans in and kisses him. “I appreciate it. Please know that if I am not ready for something, I’ll stop.” Eggsy nods. “Man of my age…I shouldn’t be a virgin.”

“Hamish!” Eggsy protests.

“I’m sure I could have done it before now…I just…I didn’t want to do it with just anyone.” Merlin blushes. 

“Glad you didn’t,” Eggsy tells him. His hand starts up at the back of Merlin’s neck and runs down over his bare arm. “Sex ain’t all I want from you, babe.”

“I know,” Merlin whispers. He allows himself to fall onto his back and Eggsy leans over him.

“But I want it…a lot. Probably think about it just as much as you do.”

“Doubt it.” Merlin’s still whispering and he doesn’t know why. He runs his thumb over Eggsy’s adorable pink lips. “Thank ye for stalking me.”

Eggsy makes a face at him. “You’re welcome,” he says wryly.

“Thank ye for interrupting my conversation with Harry that day.” Merlin cups Eggsy’s face in his hand. “Thank ye for lying to him for me.”

“You’re welcome.” This time the words are more sincere, and Eggsy smiles before he kisses him.

Eggsy maneuvers himself over Merlin as they kiss, and soon Merlin’s hands are free to wander over the strong back. He moans as Eggsy’s mouth starts to move along his jaw and down his throat. He hisses as Eggsy nips at the top of his sternum and wanders down a bit. He can feel Eggsy’s hardness through his jeans, and Merlin’s own cock seems to be answering the call. “Oh, Eggsy,” Merlin whimpers as Eggsy moves back up to kiss him.

“Don’t…don’t wanna move too fast,” Eggsy gasps, wriggling as Merlin’s fingers dance up his spine. “But, fuck, Hamish…wanna touch you…taste you…”

“Please,” Merlin begs. “But I…I don’t know…”

“Let me do the work.” Eggsy winks at him and starts kissing his way down Merlin’s chest again. “Anything I do that you don’t like, you tell me.” He rests his chin on Merlin’s abdomen and looks up at him. “Understood?”

“Aye,” Merlin whispers. He tries to relax but his entire body is tensing up. He’s been dreaming about this, but now that it’s happening he’s worried. Worried about disappointing Eggsy.

“Babe.” Eggsy frowns and pulls away. “Here. Let me do this.” He stands up and slowly undoes the button and zip of his jeans. He shoves them down and for the first time, his lovely legs are revealed to Merlin’s hungry gaze.

“Ye are a work of art, lad.”

“Hardly,” Eggsy snorts. Merlin’s mouth slowly goes dry as Eggsy puts his thumbs in the waistband of his pants and works them down as well. “Ain’t nothing special.”

“I beg to differ.” Merlin’s voice sounds strange, as if it doesn’t belong to him. He shuffles to the edge of the bed and Eggsy steps closer. Merlin’s hands shake as they stroke over the gorgeous thighs. “Ye are amazing.”

“Glad you think so.” Eggsy’s voice is tight as Merlin’s hands move up to frame his cock. Eggsy is hard and throbbing and Merlin cannot keep from running a finger over it. Eggsy hisses and bites at his bottom lip. “C’mere.” Eggsy puts his hands on Merlin’s shoulders and guides him up to stand before him. “Can I get you naked?”

“Yes, please,” Merlin almost begs. 

Eggsy grins and takes Merlin’s place on the edge of the bed. He looks up at Merlin, never looking away from Merlin as he undoes Merlin’s jeans and pushes them down. He leans his face against Merlin’s hip as he runs his hands up and down Merlin’s legs. “Gorgeous.”

“Nae…I have bird legs. Harry tells me all the time.”

“Don’t give a fuck what Harry thinks. I think you’re perfect.” His hands go Merlin’s pants. “Ya sure about this?”

“Aye,” Merlin whispers, touching Eggsy’s cheek.

Eggsy works Merlin’s pants down and Merlin’s entire body feels like he’s blushing. “Oh, I’m gonna have a good time with this,” Eggsy says with a cheeky grin. “Shoulda known you’d be hiding something like this in your trousers. Fucking hell, Merlin…” He takes Merlin in his hand and slowly starts stroking. “Can’t wait til the day I get this inside me. Gonna feel so fucking amazing.” 

“I’m sorry I’ve never…that I don’t know…”

“Babe,” Eggsy says with a glare. “Shut up, all right? Until I say otherwise, you say my name, you say God’s, you maybe curse a bit.” He flicks his tongue over the head.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Eggsy!” Merlin gasps, hands fisting in Eggsy’s hair.

He feels Eggsy’s laughter against his skin. “Yeah. Just like that.”

Eggsy stops talking after that and Merlin is thankful. He knows he can’t put two intelligent words together, not with the way Eggsy is sucking and licking at his prick. His hands are always moving as well. Eggsy’s left hand gently trails up and down the back of Merlin’s thigh as his right strokes in tandem with his mouth. Merlin wants to sound sexy and aroused, wants the sounds coming out of his mouth to show just how turned on he is. Instead he can only whimper. He pets at Eggsy’s hair, whispering his name, saying how good it feels. Eggsy’s tongue moves like a wicked snake, flicking and sliding over Merlin’s cock until his legs feel weak.

“Eggsy…I can’t…I’m getting close,” Merlin warns. He’s unsure what the protocol is in such a situation but he figures he should let Eggsy know.

“Yeah? Feel good?” Eggsy pulls off with a slurp and gazes up at him, his hand continuing to move. Eggsy’s eyes are bright, his cheeks red, his lips swollen. His chin and mouth are wet with saliva. “Gonna come for me, babe? Gonna shoot down my throat?”

“Eggsy,” Merlin warns, his hand fisting in Eggsy’s hair again.

“Do it,” Eggsy orders, getting back to work. 

“Fuck…oh fuck, Eggsy…I’m…” Merlin’s entire body stiffens as he comes, his hips jutting forward as he spurts onto Eggsy’s tongue. He hears Eggsy choke a bit but he doesn’t try to pull away. Instead his hand firmly grasps the back of Merlin’s leg and he stays in place until Merlin moves away. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I dinnae mean to do that, to shove in that way.” Merlin is horrified. “Are you all right? Did I hurt ye?” His hand ghosts over Eggsy’s red face.

“Babe…Hamish..shh…it’s okay.” Eggsy stands up and stretches a bit. “C’mere…shh…” He lays down on the bed and pulls Merlin down with him.

Merlin’s heart is racing faster than it’s ever gone before. He is still panting for breath, even as Eggsy cradles him close and runs a soothing hand over his back. “That was…Christ, that was incredible.”

“Thank you.” Eggsy cradles Merlin’s face in his hand and gently kisses him, and for the first time Merlin tastes his own spend on someone else’s lips. “Are you all right? Did I break you?”

“I’m fine,” Merlin mutters, suddenly embarrassed. He turns his face away for a moment.

“Hey.” Eggsy pulls him back with one finger under his chin. “I’m sorry. I was only teasing.”

“I know. I just…I hate that I cannae make ye feel that way.”

“Who says you can’t?” Eggsy raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know that I can…” Merlin licks his lips.

“Not that. Don’t want that quite yet…not gonna ask that of you.” Eggsy takes Merlin’s hand and kisses the palm. “Can you touch me? Love your hands, been wanting them on me.”

“I can do that.” Merlin wills his hand to stop shaking as it slides down Eggsy’s strong chest.

“Feels so good…your hands are so big and strong.” Eggsy kisses Merlin as he keeps one hand on the back of Merlin’s. Merlin’s carefully takes Eggsy in his hand and Eggsy hisses out a breath. “Yes…God yes, Hamish…ain’t gonna take long…sucking you got me so fucking hard.”

“You feel wonderful in my hand.” Merlin continues to kiss him.

“Jesus, that looks so fucking hot.” Merlin opens his eyes to see Eggsy staring down at their hands. “Just like that…a bit of a twist…yeah…”

Merlin carefully follows Eggsy’s spoken and unspoken commands. Eventually Eggsy moves his hand away to clutch at Merlin’s shoulder, his face buried in Merlin’s neck. “Does that feel good, my Eggsy?”

“Fuck!” Eggsy surprises them both by sputtering in Merlin’s hand, come spattering over his fingers and onto Eggsy’s stomach. Eggsy starts to weakly laugh, his smile pressing against Merlin’s throat. “Sorry…I just…you saying that…”

“Saying what? Asking if it felt good?” Merlin is quite confused.

“No.” Eggsy pulls back to look up at him. “You called me your Eggsy.”

“Oh.” Pleasure floods through Merlin’s veins. “Wait a moment.” He rolls out of bed and goes to the loo to wash his hands. He comes back with a wet flannel and carefully wipes Eggsy down. Eggsy sighs happily and cuddles close as soon as Merlin lays down again. “Ye are mine, lad. I’ve thought of ye as mine since the first time ye came to the front desk and asked me a question. Your eyes…your smile…everything about ye called out to me, but I was too shy to do anything about it.”

“You spend too much time in the romance section.” Eggsy buries his face in Merlin’s neck again. “Ya can’t say that kinda thing to me, Hamish.”

“Why not? It’s true.”

“Don’t deserve it.”

Merlin forces Eggsy away and looks into his eyes. “What was it ye told me that night? That I deserved someone to treat me like the prince that I am? Well, lad, I feel the same about ye. Ye deserve someone to treat you like the amazing person you are, and the fact that you’ve chosen ME to be that someone boggles the mind.” Eggsy smiles up at him and kisses him for a long moment. When they pull apart, Eggsy sighs happily and lays his head on Merlin’s chest.

“Could lay here forever.”

“Mmm,” Merlin agrees, his hand drawing lazy lines up and down Eggsy’s back. A thought occurs to him and he freezes. “Buggering hell.”

“What is it?”

“Harry.”

“Harry?”

Merlin sighs. “He’s the reason we’re together. If he hadn’t been such a twat that day, ye never would have spoken up and we would nae be here now.”

“We’ll send him flowers,” Eggsy says drowsily. “Forget about Harry. Just hold me.”

“Aye, lad. Gladly.” Merlin holds Eggsy close, kisses his forehead, and drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face.

THE END


End file.
